A lot of things, a lot of work, a lot of stuff... I am tired.



A friend offered me to go somewhere up North--am still sorting things out, I mean whether I'll go or not. Well, considering my "economic measures" I'd rather stay home, but when I think of all these things that bother me, I'd like to take a looong break.



BUT, I know that taking a break to leave all these things behind would never help anyway. I mean, I still have to do these when I come back, and for sure, I will not enjoy the vacation.



Whatever...I just want to breath all these away. Err, no matter how many deep breaths I take, my mind just seemed to be so preoccupied with aghh...



I heard that my mom from the other blog had a nice vacation somewhere far north. I miss those kind of things. I'd like to go somewhere peaceful, somewhere where nature will remind me that after all, life is beautiful. I just feel so sad the past days. I always want to talk with somebody, just to remind myself that, "hey, you still have people out there who care for you." I don't know, I want to cry but I get tired of it. I go to work, I smile, I laugh, I try my best to accomplish things, but I still feel sad deep inside.



The last time I felt this way, well that was last year I recall. I had a friend who gave me much comfort. Funny, that person is not even among those I consider as close friends. He may never know how thankful am I that he was there exactly when I need someone--when all my friends are well, maybe sound asleep (in the wee hours of the morning). I couldn't thank him anymore for we lost communication, for what reason--I don't know. But I never had regrets in knowing him, and in sharing most of my deepest secrets with him, na kahit my closest friends ko hindi alam. When we talk, no holds barred talaga, and we talk about any topic. Sa intellectual level, we just seem to fit right, but in others, uh, well--never mind. Do I miss him? I guess no more, even during this time na I seem to need him. I already feel contented with the time we spent talking, I couldn't ask for more.



For now, I still feel sad. Maybe lilipas rin ito, pero kung kailan, I really don't know.