Night-dreaming while wide awake on a Sunday after my birthday

Naisip ko lang, iba-iba pala iniisip ng ibang tao sa isang tao (hmm..eto na naman ako, magulo na naman ang mga pangungusap).

Noong minsan, nakita ko ang isang ka-friendster sa Araneta Center. Nasabi niya sa akin na gusto niya ko makita uminom dahil masyado raw wholesome ang image ko (oh, alam kong alam mo na ikaw ang tinutukoy ko!). Hindi ko alam kung ano koneksyon ng pag-inom sa pagiging wholesome, o kung ano nga ba ang eksaktong kahulugan ng salitang iyon-kadalasan kasi ay iba-iba ang connotation natin sa mga salitang tulad nito.

Sabi nun isang kasama ko, napaka-taray ko raw. Hmm.. medyo marami atang nagsasabi nun.

Meron akong kilala, hindi ata ako tumatanda sa paningin niya. Ewan ko ba, minsan eh nakukunsume na ko run, kulang na lang eh sabihin kong, "hello po, beite-sais na'ko!" Ang nakakainis lang kasi run, tingin niya bata ka, pwedeng utus-utusan, pwedeng tawagin kahit kailan. Haay..bata lang po siguro sa paningin ninyo pero tao rin naman..marunong mapagod at nakakahalata rin kung mukhang meron kang pinapaboran. Sa isang banda, kung hindi lang ako parang bata mag-isip kung minsan (o madalas ata kung pag-iisipan), malamang eh matagal na ko nakulong sa mental.

Makulit lang kasi ako at pag nasa height ng kakulitan, sadyang may kaingayan. Pero hindi ibig sabihin noon na pa-easy-easy lang ako sa buhay. Marami na nga akong problema, pu-problemahin ko pa ba?! Pero ewan ko ba, may mga taong feeling ata nila eh sila lang ang nangangailangan sa mundo. Pakiramdam ko, discriminated ako dahil single ako (actually, di lang naman ako ang nakapuna nito). Pwede ka naman umuwi ng gabi dahil walang asawa at anak na naghihintay sa iyo. Hindi mo naman kailangan ng malaking sweldo dahil wala ka naman asawa o anak. Bakit naghihintay ka na naman ng sweldo, may lalaki ka bang pinag-aaral? Excuse me po, masyado naman akong bata para maging sugar mommy noh! Wala nga akong asawa o anak pero may pamilya rin naman ako. May mga magulang akong naghihintay sa bahay at mga batang kapatid na nag-aaral. Isa pa, wala naman akong kinalaman sa pagiging may asawa at anak nila..bakit kailangang maapektuhan din ako run?

Nag-usap kami nun isang kasama ko. Feeling namin eh ayaw sa amin nun isang tao. Hmm..wala kaming magagawa run, yun ang trip niya eh. Ewan ko ba, dahil siguro mukha lang kami laging naglalaro. Eh sa ayaw namin ng tensiyonado at chaotic na buhay eh, ano magagawa nila?!

Lagi kong problema ang oras ng pagtulog at pag gising sa umaga. Madalas nga akong late eh. Minsan, sumagi sa isip ko na siguro kung nasa ibang meridian ako ng globe eh normal ang sleeping schedule ko. Nagbago isip ko nun makita ko kung saan ako dapat pumunta. Sa Kabul kasi yun nakita ko sa mapa, ayaw ko nga!

Natapos na nga pala ang birthday ko! Lumipas lang ito nang wala ako halos nagastos! Hindi ko nga naramdaman na nag-birthday ako, except that meron mga taong nakaalala nun (har..har..magdrama ba?!). Eniwey, longest week of my life ata ang week ng birthday ko..ni hindi nga ako nakapag birthday leave and kaninang tanghali lang ako naka-uwi from an activity na work-related. Yun nga reason kung bakit halos di ko naramdaman na birthday ko pala..buti na lang meron akong friends! Hehe..sila ang nagplano ng birthday ko sa office, at sila na rin ang bumili ng fudie (yummy!). Meron din silang gift sa akin na pilit nilang pinasuot after I opened the package..I have pix nun pero pang-blackmail material kaya ayaw ko i-post rito noh! Hehe..baka masira ang wholesome na image ko! Basta ang masasabi ko lang sa mga T-girls, one of these days, I'll have the guts to wear that thing! Hehehe..may hinahanap lang ako, and alam yun ni PaHam na Abi. The night before my birthday, I also met my Angel (aka mama uod)..wla lng, joint birthday celebration ba?! The night of my birthday, I went out with my friend..nagkatuwaan lang kami magvideoke..that was fun! Pag-uwi ko sa bahay, kainan na naman!

The longest part of the week ay yun CEDAW EGM..Thursday to Sunday kami nasa Hyatt, Malate for the activity. Kahit nakakapagod, enjoy yun Saturday night kasi tapos na yun workshop and we went out with some of the foreign participants. Nagshopping sila and dinala namin sa WOW Philippines sa Intramuros. Siyempre, nasubok ang skills namin sa conversation using English, pati tuloy pag kami na lang nag-uusap eh English na rin! Naaliw ako sa kanila, lalo na run sa dalawang Brazilian. Sobrang seryoso sila run sa workshop pero pag asa labas pala eh cool naman sila. Feeling tour-guide naman kami sa pagturo nun mga lugar na nadaanan namin like Rizal Park and the Manila Hotel. Naalala ko pa sabi nun isang Brazilian eh yun Rizal Park raw ang only park in the Philippines. Bilis lang ng reaction ko, saying "no, this is not the only park in the Philippines!" Ewan ko ba naman kasi kung saan niya nabalitaan yun! Pinaka-chaotic na part yun dinner sa Intramuros, dun sa mga kainan malapit sa tapat ng Clamshell (the bigger one, I forgot kung 1 or 2 yun). Ang gulo kasi nun mga kasama namin, buti na lang nagkataon na well-versed sa English yun owner nun restaurant na napili nila at nagkataon na andun siya nun time na yun kaya sila-sila na lang ang nag-usap. Dentist pala kasi ng Comelec yun owner and after office, lakad na siya papunta sa restaurant. Sa Intramuros, shopping galore pa rin ang mga lola, with matching picture-taking pa! Region 2 ang featured provinces noon sa WOW. Nanghinayang lang ako kasi hindi na masyado na-sustain yun program na yun sa Intramuros. May mga part nun lugar na walang ilaw kasi naputulan daw ng kuryente. Hindi nga kami tumuloy sa gate palabas run sa tapat ng DPWH kasi sobrang dilim nun lugar. Buti na lang helpful naman yun mga guards na naka-station near that gate kasi tinawag pa nila kami ng taxi through their radio. Anyway, almost midnight na kami nakabalik sa hotel. Lumabas pa nga ulit ang mga lola at pumunta sa Baywalk pero di na kami sumama dahil sobrang pagod na kami nun officemate ko. Yun dalawang taga-PWU na lang ang sumama sa kanila. Sunday almost ten in the morning na kami nagising. Kumain ng cookies at nagpack ng aming mga damit, inenjoy ang last few moments namin sa hotel..lalo na yun magstay lang sa Japanese-style na bathtub, at yun rainshower. Mas relaxed na kami nun dahil tapos na nga yun activity, di na kami nagmamadali. Finally, naka-uwi rin ako sa bahay namin! Haaay..what a long week talaga! Sobrang kakapagod pero enjoy rin naman at busog talaga dahil puro kainan! Twenty six na pala ko..wala lang, naalala ko lang. Tulog na muna ko, may pasok pa ulit bukas.

Power of Your love

Lord I come to You

Let my heart be changed

Renewed

Flowing from the grace

That I found in You

Lord I’ve come to know

The weaknesses I see

In me

Will be stripped away

By the power of Your Love

Hold me close

Let Your love

Surround me

Bring me near

Draw me to Your side

And as I wait

I’ll rise up like an eagle

And I will soar with You

Your Spirit leads me on

By the power of Your love

Lord unveil my eyes

Let me see you

Face to face

The knowledge of

Your love

As you live in me

Lord renew my mind

As Your will unfolds

In my life

In living everyday

By the power of Your love

====================

I really love this song..

a whole new world

One of the many bosses sent me to a workshop in one of the many high-rise towers in Makati Business District. Registration is from 8 to 8:30 in the morning so I calculated that if I leave home at exactly seven then take the metro rail transit, I'll arrive on time. Geezz..wrong calculation! It usually takes me around an hour to travel from home to my dentist somewhere in Makati (near Intel, Bangkal) so I assumed that I would take almost only the same time to travel to the venue of the workshop. Okay, okay, my fault! I forgot to include more time for buying the ticket and for waiting for my turn to finally ride the train. Imagine, three trains (no, make it four to include the empty one that passed without stopping) passed before I was able to .. uhh.. no, make it "before the people behind me were able to (literally) push me inside the train. The only good thing is that the air-conditioning system of the train is good and there were no power interruptions or falling tarpaulin or whatsoever (well, am still blessed!). Finally, I reached my destination (the building I mean). Up to the 19th floor I went only to find my self almost lost into a mini labyrinth (hmm..it's been a long time since my stint of misadventures in those buildings happened -- when I was fresh from college and trying to find some space for me in that district, perhaps I can make a separate post for those). The doors won't open unless the guard assists you because their security system involves the need to use of employees' ID to open doors. Also, they won't allow us to bring our mobile phones inside the auditorium. And so I missed all the text messages and calls of the T girls (because they are the only ones who know my mobile number.. hehe.. actually, sila lang ang nakakaalala na may mobile phone pala ako!). Haay.. I have to read a case pa, homework kasi from the workshop eh.. end na lang muna, next time na lang yun iba!

when it rained and it poured

Change of plans..instead of meeting my angel and talk about what happened last Tuesday morning, I went out with my officemates. I don’t know if it was a better idea or otherwise. I was a bit concerned that I could add up to my angel’s burden if we talked about the incident. I know angel, more than anyone else understands how I feel for I know that my dear angel is undergoing the same or maybe even worst. For now, I’ll remain silent about it for I know that I am hurt and mad and I might only say bitter words or worst even curse..yeah I know it’s not right but that’s how anger blurs reasoning. I don’t want to talk about it with anyone, except with my angel (PERIOD). A night with the T-girls, less Ms. PaHamburglar. Lola Au invited us to go to Greenhills, Kitchie Nadal is going to perform daw sa Octoberfest. The usual “karin” me went with her.. I don’t want to go straight home anyway, and the “pameanie girl” is also going. And so we went there, sat somewhere near the front of the stage and laughed at our inside jokes. Then a girl approached us and asked if anyone of us could join their game, and so WE VOLUNTEERED A(u)BIGAIL! Hehehe..this is one thing that I am afraid of when the T-girls are together and you are not there, you’ll know one subject that will make them laugh..you. But perhaps heaven is in Abi’s side..just when the first band started to perform, droplets of rain started to fall. And the droplets turned to drops then bigger drops then even bigger and the rain poured out as if there was a typhoon or something. Haay..it was around eleven already, when the first band stopped (yep, I used “stopped” intentionally). Halos nawala na yun mga tao and di pa maka-start yun next band dahil malakas yun ulan..umuwi na lang kami kahit di pa kumakanta si Kitchie. Haaay.. anyway, it wasn’t a spoiled night naman kasi we had fun.. yep, had fun making fun out of ourselves and the “Adarna” hehe! Had fun walking under the rain. Had fun walking up the overpass with falling water, ala stairway with waterfalls of Manila Pen. Had fun taking pictures under the rain. And then I was alone again..walked along “a walk to remember 2” (that’s what we call the steel overpass in Don Antonio.. a walk to remember 1 is the one in Sandiganbayan because it was built earlier), somewhat slowly. Another week..