response to a comment on dependency

Because there is a fine line between love and addiction. Halimbawa, I love drinking coca cola..gusto ko laging gawin yun. Everytime that an opportunity to drink presents it self, I'd drink. There are times when I'll go out of my way just to satisfy my craving, like magpaalam kay manong guard at bumili sa mga tindahan sa arias o barcastigue. But I also know when to stop. Alam ko kung kailan hindi pwedeng uminom kasi sasakit ang tiyan ko. Somehow that's keeping a healthy (though..oo na nga, unhealthy naman talaga ang coke! pero sample lang naman ito) level of love for something. Pero when it comes to a point that the craving start to control me rather than me controlling it, addiction na yun! I become dependent on that substance..I always crave to ingest it kahit hindi dapat.

"Sometimes, we start out as independent and end up dependent - emotionally, psychologically, socially. We tend to seek the other person when we're sad, mad, happy, and/or going through a phase."  I know that happens. There was a time when I felt somewhat like that for someone. Kahit depressed ako sa mga nangyayari sa life ko when I'm with him or talking with him parang okay lang lahat. Ewan, I can't even explain why it was like that. Minsan nga kahit am in the middle of some urgent task and stressful ang paligid ko, pag nagtext siya..I can't help but smile, kahit na before that text eh magkasalubong na kilay ko o kaya gusto ko na mangbato ng libro! But that WAS before. Ewan ko again, it just came to a point na he walked out of my life -- ganun lang. And yes, mahirap yun..siyempre, nasanay ka na anjan lang siya eh. I realized that somehow naging dependent rin ako sa taong yun.

"Bakit nga ba kailangan may kasama?" yeah, no man (or woman) is an island -- we need fellowship with our brethren. We have our family, our friends, our colleagues and people we meet everyday. Then there comes a time when we search for someone who could be our lifetime partner, someone with whom we envision dreams of a shared future. Minsan you enter into a relationship with someone, thinking na baka siya na yun hinahanap mo..pero minsan it fails -- pwedeng you just both realized na hindi pala kayo dapat o kaya naman it's just one party. In the latter case, masakit yun for the other party di ba?! Gulo talaga ng usapang lablayp ateng! At lalo pang gumulo ngayon dahil maraming taong ang trip ay open relationships o kaya no commitments (plainly, sex lang). They can just do what they want and sana sila-sila na lang..bad trip lang kasi when you meet one of those people then later kapag medyo like-like mo na eh malalaman mo na s/he's one of them! On one hand, pitfall rin siguro yun when you harbor on assumptions that are not validated by clear expressions of intentions (ngyahk..puro syons! parang polyusyon..nakakalason!). Yan na nga ba kasi eh..sinabi ng the best thing that you can do with your lips is not to kiss but to communicate! ahehe.. Pero paano ka makikipag-communicate kung ayaw makinig nun kausap mo? hmmm.. pitikin mo sa ilong! hehe.. Eh paano kung ikaw lang nagsasalita tapos ayaw naman niyang magsalita o magsabi kung anong nararamdaman/iniisip niya? sigurado ka bang hindi siya pipi o bingi? hindi naman? hmm.. baka shy lang? hindi rin? hmm.. puno ng pagkain ang bibig? hindi rin? subukan mong ihulog sa pool na malalim, baka sakaling sumigaw ng help! oh, at least napagsalita mo di ba?!

Teka, puro kalokohan na naman pinagsususulat ko rito eh (sensya, wala ako sa sarili eh!) ang masasabi ko lang sa'yo friend, mag-schedule tayo ng spa session with the t-girls! O kaya the gud ol days of bashing session..bwahahahaha...AT sya nga pala, yun matagal na natin plan to talk..argh! grabe, di ko na matandaan when was the last time that we did talk!! We're too near and yet were separated by our priorities..hmp! priorities nga ba..or wala lang tayong choice? whatever ateng! basta, naku noh, marami pang ibang paraan para mawala ang stress..healthy at safe pa!