A lot of things, a lot of work, a lot of stuff... I am tired.



A friend offered me to go somewhere up North--am still sorting things out, I mean whether I'll go or not. Well, considering my "economic measures" I'd rather stay home, but when I think of all these things that bother me, I'd like to take a looong break.



BUT, I know that taking a break to leave all these things behind would never help anyway. I mean, I still have to do these when I come back, and for sure, I will not enjoy the vacation.



Whatever...I just want to breath all these away. Err, no matter how many deep breaths I take, my mind just seemed to be so preoccupied with aghh...



I heard that my mom from the other blog had a nice vacation somewhere far north. I miss those kind of things. I'd like to go somewhere peaceful, somewhere where nature will remind me that after all, life is beautiful. I just feel so sad the past days. I always want to talk with somebody, just to remind myself that, "hey, you still have people out there who care for you." I don't know, I want to cry but I get tired of it. I go to work, I smile, I laugh, I try my best to accomplish things, but I still feel sad deep inside.



The last time I felt this way, well that was last year I recall. I had a friend who gave me much comfort. Funny, that person is not even among those I consider as close friends. He may never know how thankful am I that he was there exactly when I need someone--when all my friends are well, maybe sound asleep (in the wee hours of the morning). I couldn't thank him anymore for we lost communication, for what reason--I don't know. But I never had regrets in knowing him, and in sharing most of my deepest secrets with him, na kahit my closest friends ko hindi alam. When we talk, no holds barred talaga, and we talk about any topic. Sa intellectual level, we just seem to fit right, but in others, uh, well--never mind. Do I miss him? I guess no more, even during this time na I seem to need him. I already feel contented with the time we spent talking, I couldn't ask for more.



For now, I still feel sad. Maybe lilipas rin ito, pero kung kailan, I really don't know.

Just another sleepless night.



No. Not that I am in love or thinking of someone—I am thinking of something…no, make that a lot of things.



Nascent’s Charming brain is in full gear again! Just completed the feedback report of a meeting that I was assigned to attend. Before that, I made the activity proposal for an upcoming meeting that I have to call all by myself! Galing ko lang siguro mag-project, hindi naman ako mukhang harassed or something. Ako siguro may problema, mas maingay ako, makulit at mukhang masaya kapag maraming gawain ang resulta: damihan pa natin! Ha ha ha…



Perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise na loaded rin ang kapit-bahay ko ng work, dahil if not, kakaasar, di siya makaka-relate sa akin. Now that the dear neighbor also have eight hands and four sets of brains with an above-average IQ, at least, hindi lang ako ang mukhang baliw dito na alas kuwatro na ng madaling araw eh gising pa. Masaya naman kami, sobra, nakukuha pa nga namin tumawa nang tumawa eh (somebody call an ambulance—gumagamit ba ng ambulance papunta ng mental institution? Ayaw ko na dagdagan pa ang pag-iisipan ko eh). In fairness naman sa amin ni neighbor, harmless kami, nagpa-inject na kami together with the pet dogs last summer! Har har har… Naalala ko lang, di ko pa pala naplantsa ang damit ko para bukas at sa susunod na dalawang araw. Malamang makatulog pa ako nito! Ewan ko ba, gawin ba kasing career ang di pagtulog noh?! Anyway, na-miss ko ang aking roommate buddy kanina, she’s sick, and I hope okay na siya. Dumadami na ang taong inaasar ko—hmmm…eto na naman ako! Gotta stop this, baka maging issue na naman eh, mahirap na. Napansin ko lang, kulang ng isa ang aking koala—oh where, oh where can it be?



Everybody’s not in the mood these days—so am I. I just want to keep quiet than say the wrong words, hindi naman kasi lahat ng tao katulad ko—sila kaya, nare-realize nilang hindi lahat ng tao katulad nila? This is the reason why I limit my self to my personal blog the past weeks. At least here, I post whatever I want unlike sa group blog, di maiwasan ang violent reactions mula sa kung sinu-sinong abala sa kung ano.



God willing, hindi nawa umulan sa 27—another sleepless night maybe!