“Be still,” yan ang mensaheng ni-reveal sa akin kanina matapos ang isang solemn moment -- ng pag-iyak. It’s a command. Naman, medyo matagal ko na rin di nagamit ang tear ducts ko noh kaya kanina, dahil sa dami ng mga gumugulo sa isip ko eh di ko na rin napigilan ang umiyak. Kapag nga naman dumating ang challenges eh talagang sunud-sunod! So eto naman ako parang wala lang. Magaling akong magpanggap eh, I often look as if I take everything lightly and act childlike; nagmumukha tuloy akong immature sa harap ng madla. But let them think what they want to think, eh sa hindi ko trip ang magpa victim effect eh! Anyway, wala naman akong balak isulat lahat rito kung ano nga ba yun pinuproblema ko kasi baka di matapos ang blog ko; it’s just that natauhan lang ako kanina. In then middle of thinking about what to do and worrying that I may not be able to do anything anyway; in the middle of feeling helpless and tired; in the middle of asking why those things happen at such exact precision at talagang sabay-sabay sila; in the middle of thinking about certain people in my life; in the middle of crying and asking for answers.. I found myself humming a hymn. Calm down. Be still. May I be reminded of this always. Yep, I am strugling. To be a better person, to stand for what is just, to speak my mind with tact. Strugling, I said. Dahil mahirap. I want to detach. I need to detach to be able to soar.
Hide me now, under Your wings
Cover me, within Your mighty hand
Find rest my soul, in Christ alone
Know His power, in quietness and trust
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You, above the storm
Father, You are King over the flood
I will be still, know You are God
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