Commitment, intimacy and the elusive search for Mr. Right Guy For Me

“When God knows you’re ready for the responsibility of commitment, He’ll reveal the right person under the right circumstances.”

“..so, do you think am not yet ready..because the right guy seems to be so illusive”
“..bakit yun iba, napaka irresponsible pero ang swerte sa relasyon?”

Okay, owryt..playing the role of the optimistic little girl ako ngayon mga tita!! Paumanhin at medyo natagalan ang sagot ko sa mga tanong ninyo. Ang totoo eh nun Linggo ko pa pinag-iisipan kung paano i-organize ang line of thought ko..hehe..masyado ata mabilis gumana utak ko eh, di ko mahabol! (corny noh?!).

Ewan ko ba naman kasi kung bakit puro sawimpalad sa pag-ibig ang karamihan sa tao sa paligid ko ngayon (hehe, i-exclude ang sarili!). Hmm..tag-ulan pa naman -- oh, eh ano naman ang koneksyon?! Wala lang, senti mode ako kapag ganitong malamig ang panahon at pumapatak-patak ang ulan..lalo na kapag naririnig ko yun malakas na patak sa bubong ng aming bahay habang pinagmamasdan ang tubig na bumubuhos sa tapat ng aking bintana..(hehe..hango sa isang blog entry ko sa blogspot). O siya, ayaw raw ng isang lolah ang mahabang post sa blog, at napapagod ata siya kababasa sa posts ko..aba naman..kung medyo di ako nagsasalita kapag kausap ko ang mga tao eh kabaligtaran naman yun kapag nagsusulat ako. Therefore, mas madaldal ang mga daliri ko kaysa sa bibig ko (huh? May sense ba yun?). Eto na nga po ang sagot ko..hindi ko naman kayo pinipilit maniwala sa mga pinagsususulat ko rito at lalong hindi ko kayo pinipilit na pagtiyagaang basahin ang bawat titik, tuldok at kuwit..aba, I have my right to express myself in whatever form na gusto ko mga tita!

The right guy seems elusive ergo, I am not yet ready for commitment. Hmmm..not necessarily. Remember my dear, ang sabi eh the right person under the right circumstances. Pwedeng you’re ready (and willing)..ikaw lang makapagsasabi nito sa sarili mo, pero si Mr. Right Guy For You ay hindi pa. He isn’t revealed to you yet simply because the circumstances isn’t right. Maybe he’s still in the process of healing himself from past pains. I guess you wouldn’t want to have someone who carries into your relationship a lot of emotional baggage from his past relationships. Or maybe hindi pa lang talaga siya ready na mag-commit sa isang relationship.

Masyado kasing mabigat yun commitment kung iisipin mabuti..in essence, isa itong malaking pagsubok, isang responsibility na hindi natin pwedeng sapilitang hingin sa ibang tao kasi dapat bukal sa loob nilang ibibigay yun..galing sa puso ba. At sa uri ng pamumuhay ng mga tao ngayon, parang unti-unti nang nawawalan ng saysay ang commitment sa isang relationship dahil malaya nilang nagagawa o nakukuha ang gusto nila kahit walang commitment. Remember the line “intimacy is the reward of commitment”? Para sa ibang tao, it’s not true kasi they are getting the former even without the latter. So why should I bind myself to be with only one person when the world has a lot to offer? There are a lot of liberated people out there who are “game.” Don’t be so virtuous, that’s boring! Siguro masaya sila, and they do that again and again, with some people jumping from one relationship to another as if trying on different pairs of shoes (bakit shoes ang pinili ko at hindi damit? Kasi feeling ata ng mga ganitong klaseng tao eh pwede nilang apak-apakan ang pagkatao ng iba kaya matapos ang ilang sandali eh lalayas na lang sila na parang wala lang, ni walang paalam basta na lang nagsuot ng bagong sapatos).. They maybe happy kaya tinatawag mo silang masuwerte sa relasyon, but they don’t experience the joy and peace of commitment.

Paano ba tayo napunta sa topic na ito? Kasi naisip ko lang, malay mo isa siya sa mga naging biktima ng ganitong uri ng pananaw? Baka andyan lang naman sa paligid mo yun kaya lang di nyo pa pareho nare-realize yun dahil nga lost pa siya habang ikaw naman eh nakatingin sa iba at humihiling na sana yun na ang right guy. Eh baka naman tagal nang nagpapapansin sa iyo ng right guy mo eh dedma ka naman dahil hindi mo type?

Haay..sa magulong mundo, it’s really hard to believe that two winding paths would one day cross and move forward to a straight direction.

Minsan nga akala mo yun na eh, mali pala kasi yun nakita mo eh gusto ka lang din isama sa pagkaligaw niya sa mala-MMDA footbridge in front of SM North EDSA na daigdig at pagkatapos eh iwan ka na kasi may nakasalubong na namang iba. That’s so cruel, pero ano naman magagawa mo, eh nagpauto ka naman? Eh di be optimistic and find your own way na lang. Isipin mo na lang na kung tutuusin, kahit gusto mo na siyang tirisin o di kaya’y i-dissect na parang palaka sa biology class mo nun high school (patawad po sa mga animal’s rights advocates)..eh nakakaawa rin siya kasi nananatili siyang windang at walang tiyak na patutunguhan, naghahanap ng kaligayahan pero di makaranas ng kapayapaan ng puso at isipan; at maaari ring kaya siya nagkaganoon eh dahil minsan din siyang nabiktima ng di mabilang na mapait na nakaraan sa kanyang naging relasyon. Meantime, kaysa naman magmukmok ka sa isang sulok eh maglibang ka muna..magblog ka kaya (look at mwee! Hihihi..)?

BUT..good news is, it happens! Siguro, yaman din lamang na you’re practicing your virtues eh isama mo na rin ang pagpapasensya (yeah, patience is a virtue). At siyempre, dapat laging merong pag-asa. o siya mga tita, share ko na lang sa inyo ito..repost lang po..hango sa isang bulletin board post ng isang ka-friendster..katuwa!

FRIENDS & LOVERS

Lovers fight. And so do friends. But lovers kiss and make-up. Friends make-up only. But when lovers didn't make up, usually they just cool it off and find hard to be the same again. When friends didn't make up, it's the most different feeling in the world so they make-up eventually.

Lovers get jealous. And so do friends. But lovers get jealous because they demand commitment. Friends get jealous because they demand attention. But when lovers get jealous, they really look serious. When friends get jealous, they look funny.

Lovers give each other gifts. And so do friends. But when lovers do this, it's but natural. When friends give each other gifts, it's sooooo sweet. 

Lovers make each other happy. And so do friends. They hang out, call one another, talk, yell, encourage when the other is down, sing, dance, eat together. They share secrets, dreams, take care of each other. But lovers expect these from one another. Friends expect these from others too but got from each other instead.

Lovers can be complicated. And so do friends. But lovers usually try hard to adjust with one another. Friends just stay as what they are and don't give a **** whether they are nuts, or freaks, or stupids. Cause friends are not turned-off; they only laugh.

Lovers freak-out when you forgot birthdays. And so do friends. But lovers wouldn't forgive until they forget. Friends wouldn't forgive until an hour after when they receive a li'l bar of chocolate with a cheap card.

Lovers really love each other. And so do friends. But lovers either get married or break up. Friends either stay friends or be lovers or nothing at all!

so…who else needs a LOVER when you got yourself a FRIEND here?