Been really busy the past months – with work and social commitments. Trying to juggle work, and being sick, and gimik with office friends, and office gatherings, and family affairs, and visiting relatives, and shopping for gifts, and shopping for myself, and phone calls with college chums, and sending text messages to dear friends, and gimik with former officemates turned friends, and gimik with college friends. Whew!
With the start of a new year, back to the cycle na naman ang life sa office..parang kailan lang nun mag Pearl Anniversary ang office namin and now it’s approaching 31! Preparations are also being made for this year’s women’s month celebration. These things make me think that 2005 has been such a breeze. New year na, start of a new life sabi ng iba but for me, it’s neither an end nor a beginning of life or something in life but more of a continuation. It’s true that there are cycles, I mean events and some sort of things that just have to happen year in and year out like birthdays and anniversaries but even these are not the same each year. There has to be something different for life is an on-going journey.
2005, as fast as it may have been brought about more changes in my personality, in my attitude – in my life. This year will be different. As life unfolds new stories and brings about new circles of friends to me, it also does the same to my old chums – with some leaving the country (for good?), and some getting married or planning to get married, and some moving elsewhere. I am neither sad nor resentful that they have to; instead I am happy for them, wishing deep in my heart (yep, I do have one!) that they’d made the right choice. While there have been hints of byes and ‘til we meet again, there is also the joy of reconnecting with old buddies and hearing news about them. A close college friend is soon to graduate from law school. Hmm..I can’t wait to hear myself calling her Atty. Yap. As truly as fond memories are here to stay, lessons learned from misadventures and failures are also remembered. Kung meron man akong constant na ginagawa every time na magpapalit ang taon, it’s not making resolutions (I always find it dreadful to write new year’s resolutions in school compositions every year since grade two and until high school pa ata if I remember it right. Am just so not into that thing, that’s all.), it’s reflecting on the year that passed and remembering the events and people who’ve made my existence either worthwhile or disastrous. I thank most of them (in whatever way I can) and I thank the Lord that He’s made my path cross with theirs.
I’ve had the heart (I told you I really have one!) to read about the confusions and questions and pains etched across the blogsite. One entry went like:
April 1, 2005. When everything went wrong: When you realize that you are falling in love with someone you never even thought of liking. When that someone confessed that he is in love with someone else. When while crying in vain you recalled everything and every moment in the past that made you fall in love. When you know that if it wasn’t for his acts you will not feel that way. When after crying in pain you thought that he made a fool out of you. Ahhh...that’s it! It’s April fools day, but it wasn’t April when tears fell from my eyes..that was an, uhh..not so sweet November. And I’ve wanted to bury everything in the grave, but I can’t. His memory is like a ghost that haunts me 24/7. I thought he had that heart, but I was wrong..everything just suddenly went wrong. Ahhh..nothing, just remembering how it was to be hurt.I wish I have the time to chronicle most of the significant things that happens in my life..I used to do some, back in college uhhh, huh..fond memories of college life that was it!
But chronicled or not, each of the little things in the past contributed to what I am now and what I will be tomorrow and the days to come. And while the usual cycle goes, each new year brings about more days to continue moving on, and letting go.
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