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| Ang great love mo, hindi mo makakatuluyan. Ang makakatuluyan mo ay yung correct love." |
Re-sharing because of today's discussion on great love vs. correct love. Ang sabi e, "you have to make your correct love into your great love". And somebody said, "why can you not end up with both your great love and correct love?" Baka daw ang tinutukoy na great love sa post na ito ay great desire lamang. ;-D
But what's really the fuzz with having this great love and correct love? Can't these be rolled into one person? Can you make your correct love into your great love? Is great love just a great desire? Is there really such a thing as correct love?
I remember talking about this too with two of my friends over cups of coffee and our favorite little oscar mini cake. I told them who my great love is and why I consider him as my great love. It is the love that lasted for years, actually around a decade and a half already.
Thinking about it now, in the context of my office colleagues' arguments, is it desire? Maybe, but desire in its pure form; not lust or some other material reasons. Actually, it is more of a hope or a dream. It is the love that made me want to become a better person so that someday, if ever our paths cross once again, he will be proud of me too. It is the love that made me look forward to waking up early in the morning, because I know he will be one of the first few people whom I will see. He is that one person whom I proclaimed to my closest friends that I love, without even blinking an eye. He is that one person whom I know I can genuinely respect as a person, as a man, as a partner. For me, his character commands respect because he also show respect towards others in every way. I like his principles in life, we actually share a number of common values in life. He is that one person who is not my crush because of this or that...actually, when my friends asked me why I got a crush on him and what is it that I liked in him, I told them that he is not my crush and I don't like him because I love him. I love him but I cannot just explain at that time why -- until now I still believe that love is one of the few things that we cannot rationalize or explain. Now before people even think that he is some demigod lurking around the metropolis, let me make it clear that he is not perfect. He is not a mesmerizing hunk with amazing abs and blazing wheels (well truth is, I am kind of afraid of those guys with well defined abs, biceps, etc. I don't know, but it makes me feel like they can squeeze my neck anytime they get mad at me). Neither is he a genius or a muti-millionaire or a balladeer who writes and sings the most heart-melting love song. He is a normal person, with flaws and all. He used to drive an old car, he was a working student, he looks just fine but my friends make fun of the way he walks. I don't really care. What matters to me was that I love him -- as in the whole package. It is the kind of love that made me believe in having my own family and saving all my love and care for them. It is the kind of love that made me think not of sex and lust but of mutual respect, care and making love. It is the kind of love that made me dream of a romantic first kiss, when the only thing that will be in my mind would be, "God, I love this man!" It is that one love that reminded me to remain hopeful, even after some dark moments of having my heart broken by some male species. It is that one love that fuels me to remain sober, to always weigh things and try to choose a good path. It is that one love that reminds me that life is good and there still are good people on earth. It is that one love that makes me look forward to a day when I will contact him again, introduce the guy I love and then thank him for inspiring me to become a better person all those years and teaching me to dream, to hope, to work diligently, and for making me realize important lessons in love that makes me look forward to days, years and loving moments with the man I truly love.
Now for the man I truly love, no one in particular right now. As I have written in the previous posts under this series, he is that guy who is not perfect and recognizes that I too am not perfect. He is that guy whom I would be willing and glad to negotiate with, to draw and redraw boundaries; to talk about our life as individuals then and now, and a future together; to be carefree, childlike and silly with; and the list could go on. He is that other guy whom I will genuinely respect as a person, as a man, as a partner; but this time, for real towards forever. Is it the correct love? We can make it the correct love -- a love that is not perfect, but real and deep enough to workout for. It is that kind of love that is more than just a surge of emotions and hormones; it is the kind that we decide for. Some may say that love is not a decision and then argue that I am now going against my belief that love cannot be rationalized. But I am not rationalizing love here. What I mean with love being more than just emotions and hormones is that it is something that we decide to pursue, to cultivate, to work on; that is what makes it correct -- we stick with that decision despite problems here and there. It is that kind of love that is grounded on deep commitment with each other, and faith in The One that brought us together. It is the love that is watered by common values, interests and future dreams; and lit with individual differences that add color and make it grow in all directions. Yes, external forces will come but as long as we are grounded, we can make it through.
Now, will I ever find that kind of love? Well, my great love taught me to remain hopeful. #
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