Sunday, August 18, 2013

of walking dead and life phases

"What am I doing with my life? I'm so pale. I should get out more. I should eat better. My posture's horrible. I should stand up straighter. People would respect me more if I stood up straighter. What's wrong with me? I just want to connect. Why can't I connect with people? 

Oh, right, it's cause I'm dead. I shouldn't be so hard on myself, I mean, we're all dead. This girl's dead. That guy's dead. That guy in the corner is definitely dead. These guys look awful.

I wish I could introduce myself but I don't remember my name anymore. I mean, think it started with an R but that's all I have left. I can't remember my name or my parents or my job. Although my hoodie would suggest I was unemployed. 

Sometimes I look at the others and try to imagine what they were. You were a janitor. You were the rich son of a corporate CEO. You were a personal trainer and now you're a corpse. I have a hard time piecing together how this whole apocalypse thing happened. Could have been chemical warfare, or airborne virus or a radioactive outbreak monkey but it doesn't matter. This is what we are now. This is a typical day for me. I shuffle around, occasionally bumping into people, unable to apologize or say much of anything. It must have been so much better before when everyone could express themselves, communicate their feelings and just enjoy each other's company. A lot of us have made our home here at this airport. I don't know why. People wait at airports, I guess, but I'm not sure what we're all waiting for.

Oh man, they call these guys bonies. They don't bother us much but they'll eat anything with a heartbeat. I mean, I will too but at least I'm conflicted about it. We all become them someday. At some point you just give up I guess. You lose hope. After that there's no turning back. Oh man, gross, don't pick at it. You're making it worse. This is what I have to look forward to. It's kind of a bummer. I don't want to be this way. I'm lonely. I'm lost. Wait, I'm literally lost. I've never been in this part of the airport before. 

This is my best friend. By best friend I mean we occasionally grunt and stare awkwardly at each other. We even have almost conversations sometimes. Days pass this way but sometimes we even find actual words, words like 'hungry' and 'city.'"



Na-ah..I am not really a fan of vampire movies or series, but somehow I can relate well with these lines of R at the beginning of the movie Warm Bodies. Perhaps this is just one of those seasonal phases when I say, "don't mind me that much, may pinagdadaanan lang."

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