bigla ko naalala yun text ni jena na unang-una kong nabasa at 2:10 am nun December 13 (aga ko nagising dahil 5:00 am flight namin back to Manila). sabi niya, "you can't finish a book without closing its chapters. if you want to move on then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress; it is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. the greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. we lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we could love ourselves." feeling ko malalaglag ang heart ko habang binabasa ko yun dahil ewan ko ba, dahil siguro antok na antok pa ako at pagod kaya ang basa ko sa first word ay "I." at habang binabasa ko yun, may isang taong na inisip kong nag send ng message na yun (yun phone ko kasi at the end of the message mo lang makikita kung kanino galing ang message kapag marami na laman yun inbox mo). iyak na sana ko nun eh kaso lang pag dating sa dulo nakita ko nga galing pala kay pinsan, kaya binasa ko ulit and I realized na "you" ang first word. then I closed my eyes and asked myself bakit ba siya ang naisip ko? ewan, siguro sa subconscious ko yun ang iniisip ko. pero ngayon ito ang naisip ko:
**you can't finish a book without closing its chapters. if you want to move on then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages.** I SAY: closing a chapter doesn't mean forgetting about it; the story isn't complete without its beginning. the present is a continuation of the past. in the learning process, you have to retain information in your memory otherwise ano natutunan mo?
**love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress; it is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing.** I SAY: yes!
**the greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go.** I SAY: often, hindi mo alam kung kailan dapat mag let go at kailan dapat mag hold on. bakit? dahil mixed signals ang binibigay sa iyo. pero siguro, kahit mahirap, kahit baka later on pagsisihan mo, just let go. if the other person cannot give you the commitment that you want now, then the most mature and "loving" way to deal with it is for that to totally get out of your life, wala nang kadramahan na I'll be back or I'll search for you when the right time comes. it is not love but self indulgence that keeps a person hanging with you and feeding you with the poisoned sweets of false hopes. that only means na selfish siyang tao at maaaring hindi niya nare-realize na selfishness ang ginagawa niya. simple lang namang usapan yan: gusto mo ng commitment, hindi niya kaya ibigay - anong dahilan? committed na sa iba? ayaw ng isa lang? worst kung married na pala! pero mas malupit kung ayaw lang talaga sa iyo! sabihin na lang kung alin para tapos na usapan! bakit kailangan tapusin na lang? simple lang, dahil lalo ka lang masasaktan habang tumatagal! kailan ba dapat mag hold on? unless siguro tahasan niyang sabihin na gawin mo yun at alam mo at nakikita mong gumagawa siya ng paraan para maayos ang situation. siyempre kung gusto mo talaga, kahit na ano pa hadlang o problema tutulungan mo siyang lampasan na magkasama kayo (masaya kung magkasama di ba?!). ewan, di naman ako expert sa usaping ito noh! basta sa ngayon ito ang naiisip ko.
**we lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we could love ourselves.** I SAY: love yourself first, then learn to give out love, then learn to accept love. when it comes to relationships, loving someone is not a feeling but a decision. why? dahil ang feelings walang explanation, basta naramdaman mo lang. hindi kailangan ipaliwanag, hindi kailangan irationalize. you don't enter into a relationship dahil feel mo lang kasi pag ganito, malamang hindi rin magtagal. sabi ko nga, hindi naman ako expert rito pero para sa akin decision ang magmahal at makipagrelasyon sa isang tao. dahil kapag napagdesisyunan mo ang isang bagay, kaya mong panindigan kahit na kaaway mo na buong barangay. hindi mo ginagawa ito dahil feel mo lang kundi dahil alam mong ito ang gusto mo at dito ka maligaya. at bago ka gumawa ng decision, nag-iisip ka muna, nakikiramdam, naninimbang.. dahil ayaw mong magkamali o ayaw mo na magkamali ulit..ayaw mo na masaktan at ayaw mo makasakit. and it is even better to be alone than be with someone who doesn't love you enough.
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