Just last night, I was exchanging text messages with a friend. Told him that am busy with work and other concerns but perfectly fine.



Well, that’s true. In my last blog, I was ranting about my past wearies, but during the past days, I learned to see things in a clearer perspective once more. I guess after all, I really should be thankful of things and people around me. I guess writing about things that I feel and think about is just fine, I mean perhaps I was wrong in referring to my rants as “things that I should not be writing anyway.” Writing has always been my outlet—whether I feel happy, sad, confused, excited, in love, or pissed off. I’ve always been more comfortable in expressing my feelings thru pen (or keyboard?) rather than meeting people head-on. As I think I’ve repeatedly said in my past blogs, I hate confrontations because I always end up crying, so I write down what I feel. One good thing is that it gives me the benefit of letting it out without hurting other people’s feelings, and it gives me time to contemplate on issues. And, as always, I more often than not change my feelings towards things after a while—well, after the clouds of sudden emotion clears from my point of view. Well, I finally finished searching the net and typing my younger bros’ project before it’s deadline (well, while the lucky little boy is going around the neighborhood or to his friend’s places on a Christmas break!). I said to myself, “how I wish I was able to do that when I was in high school!” But later on I realized that I used to ask my Ate and her best friend to do my Math projects! Oh, well…is this what they call payback time? Ha ha ha… the latest scoop: the same little bro will one of these days ask me to type another project, again…nearly before it’s submission! Haaay…as if I don’t have an office work to do! Oh, I also ranted on wasting my time thinking about that someone…well, I was just texting him last night! Ha ha ha…it’s my life!



And now, in the tradition of writing my rants…



I started the week all right, I wasn’t late yesterday and I punched in at exactly 10 AM (whew!). But sometime this morning, one of our PCs had hard disk problem so our work was interrupted. Another thing is that my sinusitis attacked again! And yet, there’s another. I don’t know, but as much as I would like to avoid confrontation and instead understand others, I end up being the one who’s confronted. To top it all, I was told that I act as if I am a boss or something. It’s disheartening to hear those words from someone whom you consider as a friend. What’s more worth noting is that perhaps after all, not all those friends of yours knows you anyway—or at least spent sometime in really knowing you and trying to understand you rather than judging you. Someone told me, it isn’t bad to cry—yes, she’s right it isn’t but I don’t want to do it in front of many people for I don’t want to create a scene or something. I have always been contented and happier with an uncomplicated life of being not the center of attention. So, now alone in my room, I let every teardrop fall. I may forever rant about this, I may forever cry it out, but some hurts always leaves scars that are irreparable. It’s good to note that I have few real friends who knew me inside and out. I may forever meet people who will tell me all sorts of harsh blows, but that’s life. It’s worthwhile to underscore that I’ve long ago (as I’ve said in my previous blogs) known that I can’t please everyone at the same time. I guess I have to keep myself reminded of that. My feelings towards the incident may change perhaps, but not my principles in life.



Days, weeks, months will pass…who knows up to where my life would last? I live my life as each day pass—sunny or gloomy…everyday is a time to cherish, with new challenges to face, new things to explore perhaps new horizons to reach across. I know where I’m anchored.