Been through a lot of crossroads the past months. Am reminded of that Robert Frost poem from a high school literature book, two roads diversed in a yellow wood and sorry i could not travel both... A tricky poem that was, as tricky as the choices we are faced with at times. But I think fulfillment comes not in choosing a right or wrong path; it doesn't go with which way you choose to go rather, it depends on how you walk through the path that you are walking through.
NORMS. Things doesn't really fall into their proper places just like that. In the first place, sino nga ba ang nagtatakda kung saan ang dapat kalagyan ng mga bagay-bagay? Kung ano ang tama at ano ang mali? Lagi ba dapat gamitin yun notion ng duality? Dapat bang lagi kang may choice from two things? Basta, I always keep in mind what my Prof in Moral Theology often say, "remember the cardinal rule, 'it depends' " Oo, nag-aral ako ng Moral Theology, tingnan mo pa TOR ko! Kaya sa pakialamerang malakas ang loob na pagsabihan ako ng kung ano kahit na wala naman siya ni katiting na moral ascendancy sa akin..better backoff..naaawa lang ako sa'yo coz you play dirty and cheap.
A friend mentioned something about the "norms." I asked, "norms..sino nagse-set ng norms?" She replied, "society. it's what's right or wrong for majority of the people."
Yep, alam ko but why do I have to bother myself with what other people would say? Why do I have to conform with their standards? They might have a way of viewing things, but I have my own too. Yep, I could be a real brat if I choose to and no one could stop me. But I chose not to be (uh, huh..well..I mean not too much). Am not advocating for complete disregard of society's rules, it's just that I no longer buy the idea of sacrificing your own happiness just because of the norms.
CHOICES. One thing that I hate about myself is being indecisive. Kasi am afraid of making the wrong choice. Siguro it comes from the fact that sa maraming pagkakataon napilitan akong gumawa ng decision with the reprimand na I have to live with that choice dahil wala nang second chance. But now I realized that wala rin right or wrong choice, it's how you live with what you've chosen. And everyone should be given a second..third..fourth..nth chance if need be, as long a they're not making the same mistakes. Again, "it depends" kung hanggang kailan bibigyan ng another chance.
FUTURE. Whatever will be, will be sabi ng isang old song. Very much related sa choices kasi this is what we have in mind when we are faced with the latter. Sino ba naman ang hindi naghahangad ng magandang future? But then again, we can never be sure of that future. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung bukas ba magigising pa ulit ako o baka paggising ko nasa ibang planeta na ko dahil kinuha ko ng aliens! But today, I have to live a life -- and make it meaningful so that I'll have something great to reminisce in that future.
CHANGES. Change is inevitable and the only permanent thing in this world. Let change happen.
MOVING ON. I am moving up and yet it's like status quo. I think God granted my prayer once again. I didn't ask Him to give me the thing that I would have wanted (very worldly for it's just money) rather, I asked Him to lead me in the way that He's planned for me and give me a heart that submits to that plan. Ang sarap ng feeling na ganito -- even if in the eyes of people you fail, deep inside alam mo na mas mabuti ito dahil ito yun nilaan para sa iyo. Naalala ko tuloy ang payo ni Cherrie Bear, "dun ka pumunta sa kung saan ka masaya at kung ano ang gusto mong gawin." With this joy in my heart while looking forward to moving very soon, I know the Lord (no, not you tita Lourd, si Lord) really granted my prayer exactly how I've asked it.
No comments:
Post a Comment