Life of a Bum

Waking up at eleven in the morning (at least, it’s still morning). Eat something, rest for sometime, rest some more while lying on my bed until I doze off to sleep. Waking up at nine in the evening, eating dinner, rest for sometime, pc, internet, text...some more rest, until I doze off to sleep. Living like a bum...feeling like I live like a bum. Forgetting everything about work, about work, about work, about work...what else? Thinking about something (or someone)...contemplating on the events that happened during the past days (except those that were work-related of course). Remembering life -- childhood life, teenage life, the not quite an adult but past teenage life (except office life of course!), love life (if there’s any), friendships, the memories, the dreams, the daydreams, some more daydreams, those “whish I never did it” actions, the heartache (**sniffs**)... Living like a bum -- wondering whether this headache is caused by lack of sleep (due to work of course), too much sleep (because this is a bum’s day), alcohol (well, yeah the one that you drink, not the disinfectant), or is it another manifestation of what I feel inside my heart?

Fallin'

Our little conversations had turned in into little sweet sensations
And they're only getting sweeter every time
Our friendly get-togethers had turned in into visions of forever
If I just believe this foolish heart of mine
I can't pretend that I'm just a friend
'Cause I'm thinkin' maybe we were meant to be
I think I'm fallin', fallin' in love with you
And I don't, I don't know what to do
I'm afraid you'll turn away
But I'll say it anyway
I think I'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you
Whenever were together,
I'm wishin' that goodbyes would turn to never
'Cause with you is where I always wanna be
Whenever right beside you, all I really wanna do is hold you
No one else but you has meant this much to me

Longing for the sea

All I want is to go back to the sea. I want the sand, the water, the waves...

More than just a summer fling

Summer and the sun. Sun and the heat. The heat and the body. The body under the sun. The sun heats the body. The body in heat. Heated sand. The sand and the sun. The sun heating the sand. The heated sand washed by the waves. The waves that wash the body. The body under water. The water-drenched body. The body soaking in water. The water...the sand...the waves...the body...the sun...summer.

I’m a child of the sea. Sometimes calm, sometimes raging. Flocked with thousands of people, adorned with millions of riches, and yet at night, I stand alone in the darkness and stillness of the night. They’ve passed by, etched some prints on the sand then they walked away. It’s just another summer fling, focused on the now, without any regards for the past or the future. Nothing to hold unto, nothing to cherish but memories, nothing to hope for than to indulge in the present. To savor the passion, the intensity of heat, of emotions, of burning desire. They’re all like that, they want nothing but summer flings. I’m a child of the sea, but I am not the sea. I can mold my own life, my own destiny. I don’t want summer flings. I don’t want to be burnt with passion and desire. I don’t want to swim and be soaked in sudden waves of emotions.

Playing with words. Me playing the words. Words playing with me. The words that played my heart. Ahhh..summer!

When everything went wrong

When you realize that you are falling in love with someone you never even thought of liking. When that someone confessed that he is in love with someone else. When while crying in vain you recalled everything and every moment in the past that made you fall in love. When you know that if it wasn’t for his acts you will not feel that way. When after crying in pain you thought that he made a fool out of you. Ahhh...that’t it! It’s April fools day, but it wasn’t April when my tears fell down from my eyes..that was a, uhh..not so sweet November. And I’ve wanted to bury everything in the grave, but I can’t. His memory is like a ghost that haunts me 24/7. I thought he had that heart, but I was wrong..everything just suddenly went wrong. Ahhh..nothing, just remembering how it is to be hurt.