random thoughts on a saturday afternoon

• kapag gustong umalis ng mga tao, aalis sila period.
• kapag hindi dumarating ang mga tao, may dahilan; marami sa kanila nasa stage na burn out na sila o kung hindi man, malapit na.
• kapag ang tao nasa kritikal na kondisyon na burn out na siya, huwag kang magkakamaling patawan pa siya ng karagdagang parusa kasi lalong mauupos yun at ang ending? iiwanan ang mga bagay at kundisyon na nagpapahirap sa kanya.
• keeping the fire burning is not only one person's responsibility, it's a two-way struggle. both of you have to adjust, to draw and redraw your boundaries, to push each other up. if there's a third party na dumadagdag sa mga struggles, talk with each other, dapat walang laglagan, walang sisihan.
• life is an everyday struggle of keeping relationships. nakakapagod at nakakasawa minsan, pero okay lang.
• people have their own opinion of what or who they think i am. truth is, ako lang naman nakakaalam nun!
• don't ask me questions kung hindi ka handang marinig ang mga sasabihin ko!
• don't talk with me kung hindi ka handang sabihin ang mga dapat mong sabihin.
• don't tell me you're sorry when you can't even explain what you're sorry for.
• i can never be better than the one above me otherwise, we should switch places!
• it's not my fault if some people can't stand my presence.
• it's not my fault if some people can't stand my wicked goodness.
• no matter what you do, no matter what you get, no matter how high you've climbed..isang araw mamamatay ka rin! alam nating lahat yun pero marami sa atin ang hindi naniniwala.

SB Coffee, anyone?!

nasa greenbelt ako kagabi with my friends. we're waiting for kat sa harap ng seattles best coffee nang isang kalokohan na naman ang pumasok sa isip ko.

text ako kay lowlah,

"ang Seattles Best coffee ba ay pag-aari ni mayor belmonte (kyusi) o isa itong uri ng campaign propaganda? kasi SB rin eh! hehehe..."

kat arrived and walk kami to take a cab, daan pa kami sa atm to withdraw some cash. check ako ng CP, sagot ni lowlah...

"PATO ka talaga!"

kinalimutan ko muna yun phone ko, kain kami sa sea side (grrrabe, busog ako!!). pauwi na ko sakay ng bus pagdaan sa mega mall, naalala ko na few days ago tambay kami ni millete sa seattles best rin dun sa strip..naalala ko bigla na dapat sa starbucks kami then we noticed na mas konti tao sa seattles best kaya dun kami pumunta..tapos may bigla na naman ako naisip, text ako ulit kay lowla,

"Pato! lowla, pato talga, di lang pala Seattles Best, pati pala StarBucks eh SB rin!! whahahhahaha.."

ah basta, pinaka at home pa rin ako sa MB! Mocha Blends sa Matalino, where i spent the valentine evening with good friends and good music (plus a good view..ahem!).

inappropriate

Inappropriate - not conforming with accepted standards of propriety or taste; undesirable; incorrect behaviour sa tagalog, hindi dapat, hindi angkop, hindi akma, hindi nababagay. Wala lang, share ko lang yun work of art ni auie na inspired ng salitang ito:

How inappropriate to hold my hands,

Yet long for someone else’s hands

For you to kiss my lips,

Yet long for someone else’s kiss

When you hold me in your arms,

Whose body are you feeling next to you?

And when we make love,

Whose skin is touching your skin?

What thought runs through your mind

And fires you lust?

Is it my body heat or the memory

Of someone who holds your heart?

Is there anything more inappropriate, 

(than) To have your corpse to love, to hold

While you hear lies somewhere else

With someone it beholds?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hindi nararapat, na ika'y naririto sa piling ko

Habang iba naman ang nasa isip mo

Kapag ako’y iyong hinahagkan,

Labi naman ng iba ang iyong natitikman

At habang nilalasap ang sarap sa aking kandungan

Kasiping mo’y iba hirang

Sabihin man nilang ako’y baliw

Basta ika’y nasa aking piling

At siya na tunay mong mahal

Nag-iisa sa gabing mapanglaw

How Can I Tell You (Cat Stevens)

Dear Lola Macel,

Per your request, here is a copy of the lyrics of the song “how can I tell you.” I just hope we’ll still find time to sing this together, as you’ve mentioned. 

Teka, ano ba?! Parang seryoso raw ako! Anyway, highway, siyempre binasa ko muna yun lyrics bago ko pinost rito. Naman kasi, bakit di mo na lang sabihin? Sabi ko nga sa iyo basta ako, I did! Yun lang, at least I was able to do it bago nangyari ang lahat. Hep, ‘wag ka na magtanong kung ano yun at ‘wag mo na rin itanong kung sino nga ba yun noh! Basta, ayoko na pag-usapan!

Pero somehow relate rin ako sa song. Parang loving someone from a distance. Yun distance doesn’t necessarily mean na malayo talaga siya kasi minsan andyan lang naman pero di mo lang talaga malapitan; o malapitan mo man di mo naman magawang sabihin ang laman ng iyong kalooban. Pero sa song na ito ang dilemma is about not exactly knowing how to say it..bakit ba, isn’t an honest to goodness “I love you” enough? Minsan kasi in an attempt to make it romantic parang di na seryoso yun dating eh, parang drama lang, parang movie, parang fairytale, parang ang hirap na maniwala. Basta, sa aking palagay (kahit di ako mapalagay?), the best pa rin yun sabihin mo na lang na love mo then support your claim with actions. Kasi po, loving words are not enough rin naman kung hanggang ganun lang. Pero kung puro actions lang, hirap din; kasi mahirap mag-assume.

Teka nga, ang gulo ko na naman eh, gusto ko lang naman I-post itong song lyrics na pinahanap mo! Hay..ang hirap palang maging adult! Hahaha..

Nagmamaganda,
Nihan

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

How can I tell you that I love you, I love you 

But I can't think of right words to say 

I long to tell you that I'm always thinking of you 

I'm always thinking of you, but my words 

Just blow away, just blow away 

It always ends up to one thing, honey 

And I can't think of right words to say 

Wherever I am girl, I'm always walking with you 

I'm always walking with you, but I look and you're not there

Whoever I'm with, I'm always, always talking to you 

I'm always talking to you, and I'm sad that 

You can't hear, sad that you can't hear 

It always ends up to one thing, honey, 

When I look and you're not there 

I need to know you, need to feel my arms around you 

Feel my arms around you, like a sea around a shore 

And - each night and day I pray, in hope 

That I might find you, in hope that I might 

Find you, because heart's can do no more 

It always ends up to one thing honey, still I kneel upon the floor 

How can I tell you that I love you, I love you 

But I can't think of right words to say 

I long to tell you that I'm always thinking of you 

I'm always thinking of you.... 

It always ends up to one thing honey 

And I can't think of right words to say 

copied this from maecel's blog...my remarks are in RED..hehehe..

okay, so yesterday's post was kinda pessimistic. so, i am reposting ann's email: life's little secrets.  enjoy life!

Have a firm handshake. I agree! hehe.. ang number one idol ko rito ay si Justice Efren dela Cruz ng Sandiganbayan..talagang firm handshake..makes you feel na importanteng tao ka rin!

Look people in the eye. Hehe..hirap nito pag crushie mo yun kausap mo, dyahe (blush..blush!). Pero tama naman,

Sing in the shower. (believe me, i do sound good in the shower!) okay, try ko..haha..

Own a great stereo system. ayaw ko ata! pag kasi nagmusic trip ako eh naka earphones para ako lang nakakarinig

If in a fight, hit first and hit hard. defensive ang approach ko eh..hehe..pero ingat sila, masama ako ma-asar pag naprovoke talaga ko! hehehe..

Keep secrets. yep..pero hindi yun mga bagay na di dapat sinisikreto (if you know what i mean!)

Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday. (well, i hope they won't give up on me too... and yes, i do believe in miracles) i second the motion lowlah!

Always accept an outstretched hand. hmmm..depende..

Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference. ay, matapang naman ako, di lang halata!!! hahahahaha...

Whistle. (i can't, my!) Parang di whistle ang tunog eh!

Avoid sarcastic remarks. (avoid lang naman di ba? if can't help it, i'll blurt it talaga.) oh well, that I can't promise..well, I try, believe me, I really do! kaya nga bigla ako nananahimik eh..pero pag tinopak ako sorry na lang sila! hehehe..

Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery. (i am glad my mom did. will i?) learn from other's mistakes..hehe..will I still remains a big question..I pray that I would, I hope..

Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out. Yep, I agree!

Lend only those books you never care to see again. Uy, di naman! haha..though there's always the danger na di mo na makita ulit o kaya masira yun book sayang naman kung sosolohin mo lang ang laman nun..esp really good books!

Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have. I agree! hehe..believe me, your conscience will haunt you (uh well, if you listen to it!)..

When playing games with children, let them win. (what if adults play, will i let them win?) yeah, what if?? ako, I won't! hehehe..

Give people a second chance, but not a third. (this depends on which chance we are talking about, people ... na-a-a) depende nga yun..hehe..naniniwala naman ako sa second chances (or even succeeding ones) pero di talaga applicable yan sa lahat..haaay...sabi nga ng prof ko sa uste, ang cardinal rule eh "it depends..."

Be romantic. I am! haha.. yep, in my own ways na walang nakakaintindi..hehehe..

Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know. (practice makes perfect) I need a great deal of practice in that case!

Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems. hmmm..okay, take a deep breath and smile..you look so nice when you do! hahaha..i still remember those lines (darn, that was like almost seven years ago?!)

Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for your convenience, not the caller's. di ko pwedeng gawin ito sa office kasi po public office ito! hehe..you know the impression that it would create sa taong bayan?! pero sa totoo lang, disturbing talaga yan kadalasan, lalo na when you're in deep thoughts tapos pag balik mo nakalimutan mo na kung ano yun ita-type mo!

Be a good loser. teach me the way! hahaha..

Be a good winner. yep!!

Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret. ay namimili naman ako ng friend..yeah I really do, hehe..di ko lang mafigure out bakit pumalpak dun sa..haaay..wag na nga!

When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go. (i'll keep this in mind. winks!) cge, sabi mo eh! hehehe..

Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born. ok

Keep it simple. (just hope that friendster would add another option: "i'm complicated") whenever possible why not?!

Beware of the person who has nothing to lose. agree ako rito!

Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river. minsan you just have to because you are forced to..but you can always create new bridges to cross the river..

Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets I am still thinking about Louie's choice of epitaph for me.."died a ******" HAHAHAHA...

Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the one's you did.  yep! hehe..just be sure na kaya mong panindigan yun ginawa mo..hehe..mahirap talaga magisip in the future ng "what ifs" so gawin mo na lang! later on, tatawanan mo na lang yun kalokohang ginawa mo..believe me, done that a lot of times! hehehe..

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them. (will seriously consider this) I did. at least I did..

Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you. correct!

Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you. yep..pero I know that am still a work in progress..

Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes. I agree..I have this belief na minsan mere presence lang ng friends ang kailangan ng mga tao when they are down..perhaps just a tap on the shoulder or a smile..actions that words could never express..

Begin each day with some of your favorite music. (i am doing well in this part) hmmm..haven't tried pa kasi I end my day with my fave music eh!

Once in a while, take the scenic route. ay oo, kahit nga di scenic eh..ala lang, para lang maiba naman ang nakikita ko sa kapaligiran

Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.' ngyek!

Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice. haha..sweet nga ako sa phone eh! hehe..in person din..di lang halata! bwahahah...

Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m. (true, very true) tumpak!

Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job. (amen to this!) yep! esp yun mga taong di manggagamit ng kapwa!

Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later. (anybody?) hmmm...

Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you. di naman ako dumadaan sa superhighway

Become someone's hero. am not a hero..am an angel! haha!

Marry only for love. marry a person that you truly love..when you love, love one's character..yun looks, yun personality, yun outlook at way of life, yun living condition, yun passion, etc..anytime pwedeng magbago either for better or otherwise pero yun character is the essence of a person..that's what makes him/her him/her (gulo ata ah)..basta ganun..

Count your blessings. (never count them, if i may say. they are really too many.) i can't..dami eh! hehehe...thank you Lord!

Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home. yep..but an honest to goodness compliment

Wave at the children on a school bus. tried this, kakatuwa kasi they wave back!

Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people. oo nga, mahirap at challenging sometimes even frustrating pero totoo naman!

Don't expect life to be fair. (i know. i just know.) hey, now I know this based on my own experience!

All those men were there inside,

when she came in totally naked.

They had been drinking: they began to spit.

Newly come from the river, she knew nothing.

She was a mermaid who had lost her way.

The insults flowed down her gleaming flesh.

Obscenities drowned her golden breasts.

Not knowing tears, she did not weep tears.

Not knowing clothes, she did not have clothes.

They blackened her with burnt corks and cigarette stubs,

and rolled around laughing on the tavern floor.

She did not speak because she had no speech.

Her eyes were the colour of distant love,

her twin arms were made of white topaz.

Her lips moved, silent, in a coral light,

and suddenly she went out by that door.

Entering the river she was cleaned,

shining like a white stone in the rain,

and without looking back she swam again

swam towards emptiness,

swam towards death.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Fable of the Mermaid and the Drunks From: ‘Estravagario’

Pablo Neruda: Selected Poems in Translation