I didn't expect that the sight of you would still paint a smile on my face.
No, I wasn't only smiling..I was laughing in disbelief!
I find myself laughing at the memories of how carefree I have been during those days.
I am dazed, remembering all the "exploits" with my two BFFs -- scenes at the library, covered walk, koi pond, classroom, elevator, food shops, and the post office vividly flashed through my mind, as if they were only from yesterday.
Perhaps someday I'll let you know how I feel so blessed for knowing you.
...and yep, I am still inspired by your wisdom and your presence.
...the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning; great is Your faithfulness oh Lord, great is Your faithfulness...
The super long week end and suncellular's 7-day unlimited surf promotion gave me an opportunity to be online and catch up with long lost colleagues. The catching up lines usually goes like:
Hello! Kumusta na? Saan ka na ngayon? Ano work mo? Dun ka pa rin ba umuuwi? Kumusta si *blah..blah..*? Ilan na anak mo? May asawa ka na? Girl/Boy friend? Bakit?
...and the list continues, depending on who am I chatting with. I noticed that most of my classmates and schoolmates are either married, single parents, have gf/bf, or are engaged to be married; but not all. I honestly admire those who post photos of their own kids or their own family. Sometimes I see sweet exchanges from my friends and their kids or partner online (via FB). I admire them, for having the will to go on with their life, albeit some real life drama, which at times I also see via FB. I wish them well...all of them, including those whom I may have never even talked with back in school. And I do hope that someday, they will enjoy the privilege of having raised such great kids. Yesterday, one of my long lost friends asked me, "wala ka bang balak hanapin ang true love mo?" Oh well, I wasn't prepared for that question so I coyly answered, "hindi ko alam. hindi ko rin alam paano. ikaw, alam mo ba?" and our chat continued...
That question somehow made me think even hours after our chat. I never tried to search for true love; I just wait for it to present itself, perhaps at the right time, at any place, in a right person. Yep, I do ask God to guide me along that line. Looking back, I realized how my views on matters of love and relationship changed as I mature little by little. I remember how I used to ask the Lord to make someone I really like love me -- oh well, that didn't work out. And as I grow up, I realized that as in all other things, it is not my will which God will follow; I should be the one following His will. And so I asked Him, okay if it's not him then just please teach me to forget all about it, and please show me whom You want. Someone came along one day, and I thought..oh, I guess I should have heeded to some people's advice that I describe what I like, because this one is almost the exact opposite of that! But then, just like the message last night, the passion of Christ also teach us the important virtue of humility in all aspects of our life. Part of our becoming mature is letting go of our pride, controlling our ego, learning to accept with an open mind and an open heart. Now I know that love is not about finding the exact replica of what you've long dreamed for in your mind. I've learned that love is not all about chocolates and flowers (I never liked flowers anyway, but I do love chocolates), or finding a knight in shining armor, or finding a man who will give me 500% financial security. I realized that loving someone is more than just feeling kilig all the time; it's not about looking for that spark; it's more than just finding a shoulder to cry on when I feel sad. After all those years of "almost" "undefined" and "pseudo" relationships, I realized that I want a man who is humble enough, who trusts and loves me enough to treat me as a partner in the relationship, rather than a fragile little girl whom he must protect from getting hurt at whatever cost. I've had my own share of feeling badly hurt my a man who claim that he loves me and doesn't want me to get hurt. Truth is, his lack of trust in my ability to understand, help him and stick with him through whatever storm that he is going through did hurt a lot. It's been quite a long time and I've really forgotten much of the details but when I look back, I know that somehow those circumstances have shown me what it takes to have a real relationship.
For the past minutes, I've been meditating on the meaning of the song I quoted above and the question about finding true love.
True love is given freely -- as free as the love of God to people; but just like the gift of salvation that Christ offers, true love must be accepted with an open heart.
As Christ shown His love for us through His humility by accepting to be crucified like a criminal, we must also learn to go easy on our ego. Love is not a competition to show who is this or that...it is a series of drawing and redrawing your limits and expectations.
As God's love is new every morning, so do true love...it doesn't end with one problem (no matter how big) or one quarrel. We must all learn to forgive, ask for, and accept forgiveness.
Just like God's unending love and faithfulness; human love must also be cultivated with faith -- faith in each other, and faith in the One who brought you unto each others life.
A midst all the storms in life and in love, there will always be someone up there who can see and hear all your pain, and will love you unconditionally. In His chosen time, things will fall into place. In the meantime, take care of yourself and your heart; savor every moment; live and enjoy life to its fullest.
This is what I do when I don't want to do anything...
THE RULES:
1.) Put your Itunes, Windows Media Player,etc. on shuffle.
2.) For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3.) You must write that song name down no matter how silly it souds
4.) Have fun!
==============================================
1.) IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY', YOU SAY? Baka Naman (Stonefree)
Hindi sure? haha..mukhang nakakatawa itong ginagawa ko.
2.) HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF? Drained (Kitchie Nadal)
Panalo! Parang baterya lang.
3.)WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Love is All That Matters (David Pomeranz)
Hmmm...may point naman si iTunes, older pinsan siguro ni simsimi ito!
4.) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? No Pressure Over Cappucino (Alanis Morissette)
Meron palang song title na ganito, at nasa iTunes ko?! Oh well, na-obvious tuloy na hindi ko pa napapakinggan lahat yun 1,810 songs sa ipod ko.
5.) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? It Must Have Been Love (Roxette)
Ang cheesy naman nito! I was hoping it would stop at the "purpose driven life" track.
6.)WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO? Don’t Be Stupid (Shania Twain)
Hahaha...sige, pwede na rin!
7.) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Constant Change (Jose Mari Chan)
Parang multiple personalities lang ang dating ah! But on the second thought, tama rin naman; I know I am still a work in progress.
8.) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? First Snow Fall / Let It Snow (Midwinter)
Ano ko, frosty the snowman?
9.) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Rock of My Salvation (Praise Classics Instrumental)
10.) WHAT IS 2+2? Besame Mucho (Kenny G in Rhythm and Romance)
Besame, besame mucho que tengo miedo tenerte y perderte depues.
11.) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself (Nikky Holland)
Ano raw?
12.) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Faithfully (Journey)
Napahanap tuloy ako bigla ng lyrics nito sa internet!
13.) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Sweet Baby (George Duke)
Ang ironic naman ng sagot!
14.)WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Pare Ko (Ultraelectromagneticjam)
Mas gusto ko 'yun Do You Remember, with some modifications like -- do you remember when we first met? I sure do, it was some time in early November (September)...O kaya ito.
15.) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Take a Chance on Me (Mamma Mia Soundtrack)
Upbeat, cool hindi ma-drama! Haha..muntik pang tumapat sa #14!
16.) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Pasko Na Sinta Ko (Noel Cabangon)
Kumusta naman ang lonely Christmas song para sa funeral! Ngyahahaha...
17.) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Love of a Lifetime (Firehouse)
Ayos sa hobby!
18.)WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Ikaw Lang Ang Mamahalin/Kahit Isang Saglit [mash-up] (Martin Nievera)
Ang biggest fear ko talaga eh sa snakes...meron bang song about snakes?
19.) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? In Another Lifetime (Gary Valenciano)
Nasa other lifetime ang biggest secret ko?
20.)WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW? No Easy Way To Break Somebody’s Heart (Livingston Taylor)
Wala atang connect sa tanong.
21.) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Ghost of You (Chantal Kreviazuk)
Ngyarks! I have mumu friends? hehehe.. pwede rin naman yun ibang lines from the lyrics like "we could laugh out loud and sing until the sun came out.."
22.)WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS NOTE? Mr. Songwriter (Jose Mari Chan)
Okay, I did.
...AND NOW FOR THE ENDING SONG: Dedma (Rocksteddy)
