By CODY GOHL | DEC. 10, 2012
"He will tell all of his friends that you are breathtaking. And when they smile politely he’ll repeat it, slowly, No, I mean really, truly breeaaatthhhtakkkiinnngg, will insist that they think about what it would feel like to have the very wind sucked out of them and placed inside of a music box. They won’t understand, but it will be the best way he will know how to describe why when you looked at him for the first time, all he could hear was music and the sound of his own breathing.
You will meet him at a pie-eating contest or at a bad house party or because you happen to be the only two people who like going to the park when it rains. He will be friendly and ask you for your name. You will give it to him. You will talk for hours and when he finally asks for your telephone number, you’ll hesitate. Take the chance, give him your number, ask him out to coffee. He will say yes to anything you ask of him because he loves like you love: sometimes too eagerly, sometimes too early, but always deeply.
He won’t be the most handsome or the most successful person you've ever met. His left front tooth will be a little crooked and his favorite movie will be something embarrassing like Must Love Dogs or The Lakehouse, but he’ll fill your days with small surprises, like stuffing all of the pockets of all of your pants and coats with your favorite candy on your birthday. He’ll write things like Have a beautiful smile and Be loved on all of your to-do lists, checking them off in thick red ink. When he walks into your living room to find you dancing, half-naked, to I want it that way he will not laugh or mock you, but will grab your hand and sing every word at the top of his lungs. And when you accidentally knock over a drink at an important dinner, he’ll knock over his entire plate to save you from embarrassment.
You will shimmy your way through many decades together. You will choose the paint for the walls of your home based on the silliness of their names: tantalizing tangerine, indigo dream. You will name your children after your favorite characters from your favorite books and he will teach them important things like the difference between frogs and toads and how to whistle with their index and pinky fingers. It won’t always be an easy life, but it will be a life of dancing on tabletops and too-strong margaritas, of embarrassing-the-kid kisses and quiet afternoons with no words, no sounds other than the crinkle of pages he will turn in the book you’re both reading while nesting on the couch.
For him, you will be the light at the end of the tunnel, the halo of glowing yellow that he has been waiting for. Never forget that you are someone worth steering for, someone worth the swift kick in the opposite direction worth all of the trials and checklists and almost rights because you are a mountaintop, the crush of violet on skin from a rainbow that seems so close to the earth that it must be real. When he comes to you, gorge on his compassion. Fill yourself completely. He will think you a miracle, a revelation and will count himself as the lucky one. Do not question him or yourself — this is exactly the kind of love you deserve."
My thoughts: I am not dreaming of a fairy-tale like love story where the princess finds her prince or ms. damsel in distress is saved by a knight in shining armor who falls in love with her then they will live happily ever after. I am not a princess and life is not a fairy tale. I am definitely not a damsel in distress -- actually, some of my friends point out that I seem to be so independent, empowered and yet a goody-good girl, so guys shy away from me (and I reacted: "I am whaaaat???"). I am definitely not sorry for what I am, perhaps I am sorry for what they think I am, without really -- as in really at least trying to know me beyond what is superficial. Contrary to popular belief (well, if my friends are really right with their hypothesis on my non-existent love life), I am not a self-centered and dominatrix playing hard to get bratinela from the palace. Neither am I a fragile lass who must be protected from the harsh elements and dubious people of this earth at all costs. I am a normal human being, living an ordinary life (read: I live, I feel, I eat, I work, I earn, I get tired, I get cranky, I need rest...). Like many people, I also want a life partner -- and by that I mean a boyfriend/husband who will see and treat me as such -- a partner. I want someone who really communicates -- I don't want to play guessing games or hide and seek -- I mean, I think I am much of a grown up for those flirting things. I want someone whom I can talk with about life, about love, about us, about dreams, hopes, the future, about our fears, frustrations, desires, fantasies, about anything and everything -- someone who listens and talks to share what's in his mind. I am not looking for a knight in shining armor or a superhero. Neither am I looking for a perfect guy -- why should I? I am definitely not a perfect girl, but that's exactly the point. I want someone who, like me, sees and acknowledges that we are both imperfect, but we can see beyond those imperfections and work things out together. Someone who can ride along with my brand of humor in the same way that I can get along with his. I want someone with whom I can be weird, eccentric, deviant, or silly from time to time yet still accept me for that; in the same vein, that someone will not be afraid or shy to let me see his idiosyncrasies -- and I will accept or even love that quirky side of him. I want someone with whom I will grow up and grow old with, with bits and pieces of child-like craziness on the side. I want someone whom I can genuinely respect -- yep, I may be like a wonder girl sometimes but still, I am looking for that guy who can remind me that I need to stop for a while -- and yes, I will listen! But does he really exist? I believe so...maybe he is not exactly like this for now, but he will be once we're together. What made me think so? Because love, as in life itself is a series of negotiations; of drawing and redrawing boundaries; of constantly changing to be a better person for one's self and for others. Yes, I am not looking for a perfect guy and I am not a perfect girl, but we can be stick together and form a bond that will perfectly fit us together -- from dusk 'til dawn; through crests and troughs; through triumphs, defeats and constant trying...that is the kind of love that I deserve.
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