Super Woman Does Not Exist

All my life, I've often been forced to imbibe the mantra, "don't give up." I know there is something beautiful about positivity, about being hopeful, persistent and consistent -- it leads us to triumph. 

I have always believed that we can be the super hero of our own story. I was made to believe that if you put it your efforts and work to reach a goal, you will get there. There have been times when, no matter how afraid I am or how little confidence I have left in myself, I have jumped unto something with eyes closed, fingers crossed, and a heart that cries out, "Lord, I trust you on this one." Maybe that huge amount of insecurity in me made me hold on to that faith in One Almighty whom I can turn to whenever I feel like giving up. Somehow, there is that one true hero beneath the super woman wanna be. 

But unlike the Almighty who never runs out of super powers, there comes a time when I have to wave the white flag and tada -- I give up. Not because I didn't want to face the challenge but because I begin to cease seeing what is there to fight for.

Maybe this is one of those few moments when I give up. No, super woman does not exist! Don't force me unto believing that I can have whatever it is that I want to -- that would be kind of greedy. 

I am tired.

Tired of trying to understand and make the opposite poles meet.

Tired of listening to the ones who enjoy playing almighty.

Tired of receiving cries for help and then learning that the one who are supposed to help them are doing business as usual (sorry, I can only do as much)

Tired of being in the middle of a rocket ship reaching out to the universe and the dust-like creatures below being pulled down by gravity.

Tired of deciphering the jargons.

The jargons of political correctness.

The jargons of the intellectuals.

The jargons of the sub-cultures.

The jargons of love.

No, super woman does not exist. 

Don't force me to believe that she does. 

Don't force me to accept your truth as the absolute.

Don't force me to follow you blindly.

You have your story and I have mine; each one of us has her own.

Understand contexts. 

Listen.

Learn.

Unlearn.

Listen.

Act.

Talk back.

Listen.

Act.

Listen.

Undestand.

Super woman does not exist. She is neither you nor me. 

In my frail moments, I give up.

I cry.

I feel sad.

I do stupid things.

I feel remorseful.

I feel empty.

I cry once more.

I feel that heavy thing on my chest.

I reach out to find a helping hand, welcoming arms, listening ears, and open mind. 

As always, I am left with no one else but that One Almighty who have always been there to pick up my broken heart and fill my empty soul.

I rest my case.

I give up. 

Imaginary | Evanescence (Origin Album)

This song's been playing on and on and on and on and on my mind lately. Don't ask me why. 

Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming

Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights

Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming

The goddess of imaginary light

In my field of paper flowers

And candy clouds of lullaby

I lie inside myself for hours

And watch my purple sky fly over me

I linger in the doorway

Of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name

Let me stay where the wind will whisper to me

Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story

If you need to leave the world you live in

Lay your head down and stay a while

Though you may not remember dreaming

Something waits for you to breathe again

In my field of paper flowers

And candy clouds of lullaby

I lie inside myself for hours

And watch my purple sky fly over me

assumptions in marketing

I understand aggressive advertisement strategies like this. I appreciate that at least they don't send messages at midnight or in the wee hours of the morning. But I believe the message itself is laden with flawed assumptions:

- it assumes that dish washing = misis / women. Reality is, singles wash dishes too; males wash dishes too; even children of certain ages are being trained to wash dishes too.

- it assumes that the recipient is a "misis". Reality is, mobile phone users can be males and singles too.

- it assumes that the recipient actually does the dish washing. Reality is, there are people who don't, there are people who can't, and there are people who simply won't.

A good brand need not hinge on stereotypical assumptions. A good brand need not be afraid of looking at their market as diverse. A good brand need not be afraid of finding its niche by communicating with untapped market for the goods or services that it offers.

(originally posted in my FB wall)

Oh, and the number one assumption which a friend mentioned in her comment: it assumed that I am using a bar or paste for dish washing?

when life knocks you down...

Photo grabbed from FB

"Change is coming," bukambibig ng marami. What kind of change we will all see.

Maraming may alinlangan. Maraming skeptic. Maraming takot. Maraming poised na para magbantay ng nega. Maraming hopeful. Maraming walang paki-alam. Maraming mema. Maraming excited. Maraming feeling close. Maraming naging pala-away. Maraming sad. Maraming happy. Maraming wala pa ring love life. Pero meron man o wala, life must go on and we should keep the wheel turning and unravel life's series of changes, challenges, and chances.

Recalling my thoughts sa class address in 2014 sa PMDP: "positive change [- it] is something that emanates from within us..." (http://tinyurl.com/Nihan351). How can we be (or continue to be if we believe in our hearts that we already are) a source of positive change? And when we cannot go with the changes, are we willing to take that leap and take our chances?

[Self talk: Get some sleep. Rest your weary mind. Anywhere you may be, you will be alright. Parang kagat lang ng langgam 'yan (classic na pang-uto sa akin ng mga nurse kapag tinutusok ako ng needle for injection when I was a kid; hindi naman nila sinasabi na langgam na kasing laki ng langaw!).
Ssshhh...Manila Day sa Friday, walang pasok! When life knocks you down, roll over and look at the stars. O kaya, abangan mo si sunshine sa madaling araw; tulog ka kasi nang tulog eh! 😂.]

Roaming the Urban Jungle 1

UberX driver: 8 years ako sa taxi Ma'am bago ako lumipat dito sa Uber.

H: Ah talaga po? Kaya pala alam niyo 'yun daan kahit walang Waze.

UberX driver: Opo. Pero Ma'am iba po talaga sa taxi ang Uber tsaka Grab.

H: Bakit nyo naman po nasabi 'yan? Ano po ang kaibahan para sa inyo?

UberX driver: Naku Ma'am, tingin ko po, ang Uber po tsaka Grab, mas pabor at convenient sa pasahero. Dito po kapag sa amin binato ng Uber ang pasahero kahit saan papunta 'yan kukunin namin kung hindi, bababa ang rating. Tsaka 'yun pasahero po maghihintay na lang pupuntahan siya ng driver; samantalang sa taxi hahabulin mo sa kalye ang taxi tapos kapag malas ka pa, hindi ka isasakay kasi namimili ng pasahero.

H: Oo nga po, minsan pa amoy yosi ang taxi; ang sakit sa ulo!

UberX driver: May mga driver po kasi talaga na naninigarilyo sa sasakyan; dito po bawal sa amin. Tsaka po may mga pasahero na may maamoy lang na konti o kaya may dumi lang sasakyan eh bibigyan na kami ng mababang rating. Kaya po obligado kami linisin talaga lagi.

Question: kaninong kapakanan ba ang dapat pangalagaan ng LTFRB, sa organized trasport groups o sa commuters? Bakit ba kailangan i-regulate in the first place ang public trasportation system -- hindi ba para masiguro ang kaligtasan at kapakanan ng mga manlalakbay? Sana i-require ang mga uupo dyan sa mga ahensyang nagsasa-ayos dapat ng trasport system natin na mag-commute araw-araw using various modes of public transportation, and traversing different routes during peak/rush hours. Isama na rin ang mga nagsasa-ayos dapat ng traffic flow na may tendency na isipin lang talaga eh yun flow ng sasakyan at nalilimutan yata na meron mga commuters sa daan na dapat rin naman isaalang-alang. Hanggat mahirap makipagpatintero araw-araw sa paghahabol ng jeep, uv express, bus, taxi, l/mrt, maraming commuters na maghahangad na humanap ng alternatibo tulad ng Uber at Grab o di kaya ay bumili ng sariling sasakyan kung may kakayahan itong bayaran. Mas mainam na igapang ang pambayad, pang-gas at maintenance ng sasakyan kesa ikaw naman ang gumapang sa hirap sumakay. O tapos sasabihin nyo kaya trapik dahil sa volume ng private na sasakyan?! Palagay nyo trip lang nila magmayabang na may pera pambayad nyan kaya hindi nagko-commute? Marami po dyan hindi rin naman talaga mayaman pero isasakripisyo yun mababawas na pera buwan-buwan kapalit ng ginhawa sa paglalakbay at hindi magmukhang ewan at stressed pagdating sa pupuntahan. Ah oo nga, trapik pa rin..maganda ka nga, late ka naman! Ewan! Don't even get me started with maaga ka kasi dapat para hindi ka mahirapan.. iba ang reality mo sa reality ko, at sa reality ng milyon-milyong Pilipino! Hindi ang lifestyle mo ang pamantayan o modelo sa buong mundo. 

Ano ba ang point ng post ko? Simple lang: tingnan ang mas malaking kabuuan; ang lipunan na binubuo hindi lamang tungkol sa infrastructure at sasakyan kundi ng mga tao; mga tao na hindi rin naman homogenous group dahil may babae, lalaki, bata, matanda, may kapansanan, at iba't-ibang kakayahan; isama pa ang isyu sa kalikasan at marami pang iba. Hindi ko sinasabing magpaka-hero or feeling hero at problemahin mo ang poverty and hunger sa buong mundo; bago ka magmaganda sa buong earth eh unahin mo muna ang sariling bayan mo.

Random Thoughts 1 s. 2016

• That rare moment when you find yourself teary-eyed while traveling alone onboard a PUV, for reason you don't exactly know of -- ganun pala 'yun -- nakaka-inis na ewan.
• I feel frustrated over a lot of injustices that I notice. Sa totoo lang, nakakapagod magsalita at mag-advocate ng empowerment kung nakikita, naririnig at nararamdaman mo personally 'yun opposite nito. 
• 'Yun ma-judge ng ibang tao kahit hindi ka naman libro, at kahit na kakarampot lang naman ang alam nila sa pagkatao mo? Sanay na ako dyan. Sa totoo lang, nakamadismaya rin minsan; lalo na kung wala naman talagang basehan. 
• Hindi ako saint. Hanggat maaari ayaw ko ng confrontation, pero napapagod rin ako na intindihin ang mga taong sarado utak at walang naririnig kung hindi sarili nila. I don't want to be arrogant and boss around pero may tinatawag naman na umaabuso na -- 'wag mo kong gawing doormat, 'wag mong ibintang sa akin ang kung ano ang actual mong ginagawa sa akin, at 'wag kang masanay na maging arogante sa akin. Mind you, when I keep quiet it means I am keeping myself from shattering all your delusions of brilliance and might with what I might utter out of exasperation. I want to act like a civilized human being but there is always what we call the end of the rope.
• Minsan naiisip ko kung paano kaya kung naging selfish na lang ako sa maraming bagay? 
• There is that empty feeling when someone dear to you suddenly acts as if you don't exist at all. 
• Power and fame -- some people will do anything to wield and grab both at whatever cost.
• Salamat kay Kung Fu Panda -- for reminding me that in the midst or all the chaos in this world and on my mind, all I have to do is to take time to breathe, calm down, and find that inner peace. #

Somewhere in between...

Somewhere in between wishing and deciding, I stopped. I hate myself for my inability to move.

Somewhere in between being awake and dozing off to sleep, I dreamed. I often wonder why it happened to be you.

Somewhere in between holding on and moving on, I felt tired. I want to rest, but my heart beats so fast that I had to move around.

Somewhere in between here and there, I felt distance. It is saddest to feel distance borne of silence; even more sinister than honest rejection.

Somewhere in between the top of my head and my lips, tears begin to fall. I hate you for being the reason for this.

Somewhere in between silent sobs and a heavy heart, I whispered your name. I hope that this will be the first and the last that I will do the same.

Somewhere in between you and me, I felt love. I wanted you to have it but right now, I need it more than you do. 

Somewhere in between the mountains and seas, I sent a word as I close my eyes. I know it will reach you, somehow... goodbye.

Of New Years and New Beginnings

24 posts for 2015, with a long entry complete with photos on the 1st of January. Today's the 3rd and here I am, still unsure of what to write for my first post of the year. I have no plans of making a list of resolutions for the new year -- I am not good at following through resolutions anyway. I used to dread inventing writing rehashing writing such back in grade school for English and Filipino subjects.

2015 has been bitter and sweet for me.

Bitter because of frustrations and challenges. Ito 'yun taon na I had people around na mas pinili pa talagang i-rub-off ang kulang sa akin kesa sa kung ano ang meron at ano ang posible at pwedeng gawan ng paraan. There I said it in the open -- oo, disappointed, insulted, and offended ako, and if not for two major obligations that I have to fulfill, I would have called it quits. Yes, I could have fought for it pero I chose not to; useless battle lang kasi at ayaw ko na ma-drain kung ano pa ang natitira kong energy at faith in humanity. Ito rin 'yun taon na ang dami kong tanong which were left unanswered. I also realized that there are many things on earth which are not what they seem to be, and that finding balance is difficult in the midst of competition. Mas gusto ko kasi 'yun ginagawa ko lang ang dapat at kailangan gawin; masaya na ako sa ganun, hindi ko talaga trip sa buhay ang competition at paghahangan ng award. Pero ito ang harsh reality sa mundong ibabaw -- we are pushed to compete, if not for merits, it is for survival. Hindi naman ako ganun ka-naive na ngayon ko lang napagtanto 'yan -- masyado ko lang damang-dama 'yan ngayon sa iba't-ibang aspects ng life ko.

Pero kahit na maraming dahilan ng bitterness sa buhay, I still choose to revel on its sweet side. On a more positive note, marami rin naman akong natawid na pagsubok sa life. Nagpapasalamat pa rin ako dahil may mga taong nagtiwala at sumuporta. Thankful ako sa mga tao na nagbigay ng ngiti sa aking mga labi at ligaya sa aking puso. Masaya at hopeful dahil may chance ulit na balikan ang aking second love -- ang pagsulat (science and technology talaga kasi ang first love ko, pero na-frustrate ako dahil kakambal niya ang mathematics!). Natuwa sa mga byahe; sa mga lugar at adventure na first time ko napuntahan at nasubukan. Marami rin mabubuting bagay at balita sa mga taong malapit sa akin -- mula sa materyal na bagay at promotion sa trabaho, hanggang sa aspetong spiritual at pag-ibig -- I am genuinely joyful for all of them; nakaka-inspire at nakaka-renew ng hope in humanity.

As for 2016, we'll see...

Christmas Na Pala!

Pasko na naman, o kay tulin na araw...

Feel na feel ko ang lyrics na ito ngayon. Hindi ko man lang namalayan na oo nga, Pasko na! Siguro masyado akong abala sa kung anu-anong bagay sa earth. Ang dami kasing kung anu-ano na dapat gawin, dapat tapusin, dapat intindihin; hindi sila nauubos, pero ang oras at pasensya ko eh kaunting-kaunti na lang! Napansin ko rin na dumami yun white hairs ko and I don't blame it solely on genetics and the additional year; nakaka-stress drilon lang talaga ang 2015 in all aspects.

Pero thankful pa rin ako. At least, matatapos na ang taon at kahit papaano ay naitawid naman ito ng maayos -- maraming ngarag moments, ups and downs, confusions and challenges pero ayos na, I am still breathing and my heart is still beating.

Speaking of my heart -- oo nga, it is still beating (akalain mo! **grins**). Naisip ko lang na pag dumalaw sa probinsya para sa birthday ni Lola eh kakailanganin ko na naman ang aking witty remarks sa mga kamag-anak ko na excited na excited na magka-boyfriend ako at mag-asawa (**face palm**).

Kasama rin ako sa mga nag-holiday rush sa supermarket. Imagine, past midnight na kanina eh ang haba-haba pa ng pila sa checkout counters ng Shopwise, to think na open lahat ng counters at nasa Senior Citizens lane pa ako dahil kasama ko si Mama! Open 24 hours pa sila nun lagay na 'yun ah, pero ang lakas maka-forever ng pila! Akala ko kahapon eh mahirap gastusin ang 10,000 pesos, pero mali pala ako kasi umabot ng halos 13,281.50 pesos ang total bill ko (may 65 pesos na senior citizen discount pa 'yan) -- on FOOD items alone (hello Citibank). Hiwalay pa 'yun non-food items na inabot rin ng 1,366.78 (hello BDO), so bonggang-bonggang 15,000 pesos ang nadagdag sa utang ko! In fairness, nagbabayad ako ng maayos sa card dahil sinisiguro ko naman na keri ko bayaran in full ang monthly bills ko; sabi nga eh, you have to live within your means.

Bukod sa supermarket rush, napagtanto ko na hindi pa rin ako prepared sa aming yearly Christmas exchange gift after noche buena later! Hindi ko naman pwedeng hiritan ang mababait kong pamangkin na LOVE na lang ang gift ko sa kanila kasi sabi nga sa kanta eh "give love on Christmas day". Nag-inventory nga ako kanina eh, keri naman na, may something na ako for everyone in the family. 'Yun mga hindi immediate family, bahala na si Darla.

Ilang oras na lang, Pasko na talaga! Thank you, thank you for the love... 

never enough

Nakakapagod rin kapag sobrang taas ng expectations. 'Yun halos magtumbling ka na ay sumali sa circus para lang mabigay mo 'yun gusto pero kulang pa rin; at pinapamukha pa talaga sa iyo na kulang. Alam mo naman sa sarili mo 'yun worth mo at alam mo na beyond average and normal limit ng isang tao yun mga ginawa mo pero dumarating din pala 'yun point na magda-doubt ka na rin sa sarili mo kasi laging inuulit sa iyo kung gaano kalaki ang pagkukulang mo. Nakakapagod lang. Nakakasawa na rin. 

"Go where you are needed and where your efforts will be appreciated," gusto ko na yata sundin ito.

Ang Hard

Bakit ba ang hirap mong mahalin?

Ang hirap mo rin abutin.

Kung makakalipad lang ako, gagawin ko

Kaso, hindi; pero nagawa kong tumakbo.

Sana isang araw pag gising ko

Hindi na ako nahihirapan ng ganito.

birthday

that moment when you reach another turning point in your earthly existence

when you had to hurry home from work -- literally because of raging winds and intermittent rains of the storm

when all of a sudden everyone is at home to celebrate -- makes one thankful to have a family back home

when you begin to count who among your friends are online; and who among your online friends care to spend a few seconds to drop you a birthday greeting -- thanked them one by one instead of a general post...just thought of sending simple and genuine thanks personally rather than lengthy and dramatic post meant for none in particular

when the only thing that you could wish for is for someone to make you smile -- yep, that fleeting moment that you wish could last forever

when you lay your head on your pillow, close your eyes, open it again, and tell yourself that there is still tomorrow even though there may be no forever

when you once again start to dread that day when you will meet your relatives or long lost friends again and they ask you again (and again, and again...) when you're gonna get married 

when you tell yourself that your life is yours to live and so far, you're doing great

when you begin to count not the years of your existence, but the traces that you will live behind to justify it

hindi nagugutom ang puso

'yun may energy ka pa rin kahit gutom na gutom ka na at walang solid food sa sistema mo for the whole day; kasi ang heart mo patuloy lang sa pagtibok ng mabilis na halos tumalon na siya at mag-tumbling palabas sa dibdib mo

hindi nga siguro nagugutom ang puso

pero nauuhaw

at kapag lumaon napapagod rin hanggang tumigil sa pagtibok. no more soaring, tumbling, free-wheeling dahil wala naman magic carpet ride in the first place

Executive Order No. 1: Mandating the Fabrication of a Gigantic Metal Melting Furnace

I used to be so timid and shy that people often think that I am a snob. People do change though; sometimes for the better :-). I now find myself talking with random people about random topics. This new post category that I am starting will revolve around those random conversations.

On my way to the office this morning, the driver was tuned in to an AM radio station where Secretary Singson of DPWH talks about the planned installation of barriers along EDSA. During the interview, Secretary Singson stressed that keeping the roads safe and convenient for all motorists and commuters is not only about building highways, enforcement of traffic and zoning rules and regulations should be ensured so that our roads and sidewalks will serve their purpose. 

The interview prompted yet another amusing conversation with the PUV driver which went on like...

Manong: Naku, talaga Ma'am tama 'yan enforcement talaga kailangan! Alisin ang mga nakaharang sa daan, lalo na mga lumang sasakyan na nakapark sa kalye nabubulok na.

Ako: Ay marami nga pong ganyan, hinihintay yata maubos ng kalawang.

Manong: Ma'am kapag ako po ang naging Presidente ng Pilipinas, ang una ko pong gagawin, magpagawa ng malaking-malaking tunawan ng bakal!

Ako: (amused, saan galing 'yun ideyang 'yun??) Bakit naman po 'yun?

Manong: Lahat Ma'am ng mga sasakyan na nakaharang sa daan ipapatunaw ko! Dapat kasi hindi sila nagpapark sa daan. Unahin nila magpagawa ng parking bago bumili ng sasakyan. Nakaka-abala sila eh tsaka ginawa ng gobyerno 'yan kalsada at sidewalk para sa lahat, hindi para parkingan nila. 

Ako: Sa bagay, lalo na 'yun mga magkabilang kalsada may nakapark. Lalonh nakaka-trapik!

Manong: Opo Ma'am. Tapos para mabawasan trapik ipapahold ko muna pagbebenta ng mga bagong sasakyan. Maglalagay din ako ng rule na hanggang 10 years lang pwede gamitin ang sasakyan; kapag lagpas na ng 10 automatic 'yan tutunawin na sa ayaw at gusto ng owner. Kapag may rule na na ganyan tsaka ko papayagan ulit magbenta ng sasakyan. Kapag may pasaway at ayaw sumunod, baka ipasama ko na tunawin!

Ako: (ah, eh... CHR aabutin nitong si Kuya pag nagkataon! Pero dahil amused ako sa ideas niya, go lang!) Hehe.. eh ano naman po ang naisip niyong gawin na natunaw na bakal?

Manong: Naku Ma'am, sa dami ng mapapatunaw ko eh hindi na tayo aangkat ng bakal, baka pwede pang export pa! Marami mapag-gagamitan 'yun!

Ako: Ayan Ma'am tingnan mo, kabilaan nakapark sila dyan kaya isang linya lang nagagamit ng tao (sabay turo sa gilid ng kalsada). 'Yun kumpare ko nga sa amin hindi ko talaga pinalampas nun ayaw tumigil kaka park sa kalsada sa harap ng bahay ko! Nakarating kami sa barangay kasi ang tagal ko na siya winarningan na kapag hindi niya inalis sa harap ng bahay ko kotse niya mawawala gulong non! Aba mahigit isang taon ako nagpasensya pero ayaw tumigil kahit nag-effort pa ako at nilagyan ko na ng NO PARKING harap ng bahay ko. Minsan parating siya, binutas ko nga yun 2 gulong! Nakita pa niya, gamit ko 'yun itak na matulis ang dulo gamit yun sa kawayan. Dun sa barangay talagang sinabi ko na dapat nga sila ang umasksyon sa mga nagpapark diyan sa kalsada kasi bawal yan!

Ako: Eh kumusta naman po kayo ng kumpare nyo?

Manong: ayun Ma'am, hindi ako pinapansin! Ang tagal! Tapos napilitan din lumapit kasi nangutang at walang wala raw sila ng araw na 'yun, papasok sa eskwela mga bata. Sabi ko nga Ma'am, kasi inuna mo pa bumili ng bulok na sasakyan dinalawa mo pa kahit wala ka naman garahe! 

After thought ko habang naglalakad papasok sa office: may pinaghuhugutan pala si manong sa Executive Order No. 1 niya! Malapit pala sa puso niya ang isyu ng mga sasakyan na nakapark sa kalsada. #

Kimmidoll Limited Edition: Akiyo, Kazue and Koko

Holidays allow me to afford time to spend either for leisure or going back to backlogs. This post qualifies for both! Here are three more limited edition kimmidolls from my own collection...and this reminds me that I haven't gotten any new kimmidoll since this year started.

Akiyo means Enlightenment

Kazue means Inspiring (I named my mobile phone after this Kimmidoll)

Koko means Devotion

Rice -- Granary to Basket to Bowl (The Evolution?)

Ayon sa isang artikulo, rice bowl raw ng Pinas ang Central Luzon. Napatitig ako ng 2.5 seconds sa "rice bowl" tapos nagflashback bigla sa akin ang aralin sa Heograpiya noong ako ay nag-aaral pa sa OB (ah, hindi yun Montessori 😂 OB as in Old Balara Elem. Sch.): Region 3 = Gitnang Luzon / Central Luzon = rice granary of the Philippines.

Hindi ako maaaring magkamali, rice granary of the Philippines talaga yun sabi sa aming aralin. Ang mga lalawigan kasi rito ang pinakamalaking source ng palay sa buong bansa. At dahil uso na ngayon ang IGM...search keywords: central luzon rice. First page of google search yielded various websites (.gov sites and others) referring to the region as: rice granary, rice basket, rice bowl.

Thought bubble ko: oh, may evolution? From granary to basket to bowl? Indicative ba ito ng pagbaba ng produksyon ng palay sa naturang rehiyon? Hindi ako magtataka kung sakaling ganyan nga ang trend. Kapansin-pansin naman kasi na nawawala unti-unti yun mga rice fields. Noong maliit pa ako (ang laki ko na kasi ngayon), pagpasok ng NLEX amoy bukid na eh...ordinary bus pa noon sinasakyan namin pag dadalaw kina Lola tuwing summer break. Ngayon, pagpasok ng NLEX, daming billboards, pabrika, mall, housing, sementeryo, at iba pang struktura na pumalit sa rice fields.

Siguro after a few more years obsolete na rin ang mga natutunan ko sa geography noon. Ang totoo, marami na napalitan sa inaral ko noon na regions at provinces. Buti may IGM; time lang at internet connection ang kailangan to update (plus bonggang discernment sa pagpili ng reliable na website, sa dami ng satirical at misleading blogs na nagsusulputan).

Oh well, kung anu-ano na naman naiisip ko. 😂😂😂 umiiwas kasi na isipin ang mga bagay na nakaka stress sa buhay.

Solving Two Major Urban Problems: Manong Driver's Strategies

I used to be so timid and shy that people often think that I am a snob. People do change though; sometimes for the better :-). I now find myself talking with random people about random topics. This new post category that I am starting will revolve around those random conversations.

A few days ago, I was talking with the cab driver on my way to a Sports Club. The weather was quite bad that morning, downcast clouds indicate a gloomy day and imminent rainshowers. We traversed one of the "short cut" roads toward the place where I am headed to avoid heavy traffic on the main roads where PUVs ply.

"Ang dilim na naman ng langit, uulan na naman po ano?" I commented.

"Oo nga Ma'am! Naku, talo na naman sa baha at trapik nito. Mahirap ang byahe," he said.

"Iwas na lang sa bahain na lugar tsaka alalay sa pagdrive para safe," I answered back.

"Talaga Ma'am! Naku ito pong kalyeng ito (referring to the road with a wide creek ahead), hanggang dito po sa taas na ito binabaha! Kawawa po 'yan mga bahay na iyan sa baba, lubog lahat yun first floor niyan!" he shared.

"Ay ganun po ba? Samantalang kapag ganitong wala pang ulan eh ang lalim naman at ang laki na ng creek na 'yan," I told him.

"Dapat po Ma'am, ipahukay pa 'yan creek na 'yan eh. Bumabaw na po 'yan sa tagal. Dapat ayusin ng gobyerno 'yan!"

I listened intently to manong driver's insights which went like this:

"Kung tutuusin madali lang solusyon sa dalawang malaking problema sa Maynila (I guess he was referring not to the City of Manila alone but to Metro Manila or other urban metropolis in general). Ano 'yan dalawang yan? --- trapik tsaka baha!"

"Paano naman po?" (Ako, curious at nakikinig sa next lines ni manong).

"Una, trapik. Bakit trapik? Paano ang daming sasakyan at tao sabay-sabay lalabas, naghahabol ng oras papasok sa trabaho o eskwela. Dapat magkakaiba ang oras ng pasok. Yun opisina ng gobyerno dapat alas-singko ng umaga ang bukas tapos maaga uwian para hindi kasabay ng mga sa private at estudyante. Yun private na opisina dapat alas-otso o alas-nuwebe ang pasok. E 'di walang problema, kasi kapag lalabas na sa kalye mga private eh nasa opisina na mga sa gobyerno. Sa uwian ganun din; hindi sabay lahat. Makakatipid pa sa gas. Siyempre mahirap yan sa simula pero kapag batas na 'yan wala naman sila magagawa kung hindi sumunod. Para sa ginhawa naman ng lahat 'yan."

"Eh paano naman po ang baha?" (Ako, amused at this point sa insights ni manong).

"Dapat po gumawa ng drainage sa Manila na kasya 'yan (sabay turo sa delivery van two cars ahead of us). Sa mga pelikula Ma'am sa abroad 'di ba yun drainage nila dun pa naghahabulan sa ilalim mga action scene, parang underground ng MRT pero kanal yun tapos pag umakyat ka sa manhole eh kalsada sa ibabaw. Dapat ganun ang gawin sa atin hindi yun maliliit na imburnal lang. Siyempre kapag parang mga drum lang na imburnal madali bumara mahirap pa linisin. Pero kung malalaking kanal mas madali linisin at maraming tubig kaya sa loob. Gumawa dapat ng mga ganun at itutok palabas sa ilog at dagat o Manila Bay. Kaso Ma'am hindi ginagawa e. Siguro kasi kapag ganyan maganda na drainage natin hindi na sila kikita sa pagpapagawa ng imburnal. O kaya Ma'am hindi talaga naiisip o kulang sa tapang yun mga dapat gumawa. Madami kasi kumikita dyan, takot sila na kalabanin. Kung sa gastos naman po, sa umpisa lang malaki 'yun kumpara sa inaabot natin kapag baha tsaka puro repair pero baha pa rin. Nakaka utang nga po para sa ibang project at lahat naman may tax. Dapat lang talaga yun lider natin isipin yan mabuti."

(Ako, mesmerized na sa sharing ni manong. Naisip ko na siguro nga wisdom comes with age and experience in living and seeing how people live in random streets and corners of the metropolis.)

"Ma'am, ito na po 'yun pupuntahan niyo ano," sabay turo sa bakod ng sports club.

"Ay, oo nga! Nakarating din tayo," sagot ko.

"Kung sa Quezon Avenue at Welcome tayo dumaan Ma'am mahuhuli kayo kaya umiwas na tayo."

"Tama po. Thank you po ha, eto po bayad," sabay abot ng bayad at smile kay manong, "have a nice day po!" paalam ko pagbaba.

"Sige Ma'am thank you din!" paalam ni manong.

I just thought that manong cab driver's opinion is worth sharing with anyone who happens to pass by my blog. Of course it has pros and cons and could be subjected to lots of debates, but hey, no one has the monopoly of bright ideas, right?  And we must remember that sometimes, the things that we laugh at or belittle could very well be the answer that we've been waiting for.

random thoughts #2, s. 2015

Rules. The problem with written rules is that, it hinders you from growing and moving forward (unless you have it amended). However, having none exposes you to risks of inaction, abuse of authority or discretion, and chaos. May all be well soon enough.

Words. My professor once said that a person who knows how to put words together and construct compelling sentences can live well in this world. It is true that words have power, those who know the craft of using them can very well make a living out of it. You can use that power to influence people, to change mindsets, to get people to act; for whose benefit, for what purpose, for whatever reason -- it's your choice. Choose well.

Bragging vs. encouraging. Yep, it hit me; people might be getting me wrong all along so they will not hear from me again lest they ask. When I am happy, I want to share that happiness with people who have been with me as I work hard to get whatever makes me happy. I am a person who believes that no one can claim anything as his or her own success because in whatever little or huge ways, there are people who contributed to whatever it is that you have accomplished. When I share my joy with you, it means I value you as a person, as a friend. When I ask you to go forward, it means I am concerned and I want to help you out. I do not intend to brag. I am not the type who craves for attention and enjoys the limelight of being on top or being ahead of everyone (if only people knew how terrified I could get with being put on the spot or even speaking in front of a crowd). Move on na lang.

Macro view. Managers need to view things from a broader perspective. They have to identify how a set of agenda relates with what's going on outside the organization or even a sector. It is quite easy, if one devotes time and passion to really making positive changes. The greater challenge is in communicating and motivating people to share your vision and work on achieving it.

Quiet place. I want to leave this city life. I want to stop and contemplate for sometime, somewhere else, somewhere quite far. I need to rest and dream again.

mga hirit na malupit - tatlo (drama at linyang pang #hugot moments)

Minsan may mga bagay na gustong-gusto mo pero parang ang daming hadlang para makuha mo. Ang daming negatrons; ang daming ik-ik; ang daming agaw-eksena pati sa sarili mong bahagi ng programa. Minsan itatanong mo rin kung ano bang problema nila sa buhay at pati ikaw gusto nilang idamay sa pagiging bitter. Minsan naman mapapa face-palm ka na lang o kamot ng ulo kasi yun mga ik-ik parang mga white mice sa cage na takbo nang takbo sa loob nun wire na mukhang mini ferriswheel sa pag-aakalang siya si high and mighty mouse pero ang totoo, hindi lang niya nakikita na sa bigger picture sa labas ng gulong at ng cage niya ay mukha siyang t***a. Minsan naman, gusto mo na sumigaw ng CUUUUUUT para matauhan ang mga agaw-eksena. Pero sa totoo lang, kahit sumigaw ka, hindi ka naman maririnig ng mga nilalang na walang naririnig kung hindi sarili nilang tinig. It's such a sad and cruel world out there.

'Yan yun mga pagkakataon na kailangan mong magdetach pansamantala. Kailangan mong tumingin sa sarili mo, magtanong kung bakit ka nga ba nariyan sa kinaroroonan mo. Kailangan mong alalahanin kung ano yun talagang gusto mo at pinaglalaban mo ayon sa sarili mong conviction. Kailangan mong panghawakan yun prinsipyo mo sa buhay, yun dahilan kung bakit ka gumigising araw-araw. Kailangan mo ipa-alala sa sarili mo na hindi sila ang magdedefine sa pagkatao mo, sa kung ano ang kaya mong gawin at pwede mong marating, sa kung ano ang kasaysayan mo bilang tao dahil higit sa kanila, ikaw ang nakaka-alam ng mga ito.

Lilipas rin 'yan. Tandaan, mas maraming mahalagang aral na napupulot at tumatanim sa isip mula sa failures kung bubuksan lang natin ang pang-unawa. Bakit? Aba, masakit kaya ang failure! But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger 'di ba? Ang mahalaga, makamove on ka. Hindi naman required na agad-agad -- ano ka, manhid o walang pakiramdam; hindi tao, hindi hayop, robot? Okey lang mag-emote for sometime, pwede rin mag hugot moments -- walang batas na nagsasabing crime of moral turpitude ang magwallow in pain. Pero wag din naman tagalan ang emote. Tandaan, nauubos rin ang emoticons, pati stickers sa viber. 'Wag mo akong tanungin kung anong connection --- bakit, ano ba sa palagay mo? internet connection? rainbow connection? flower connection (oops, collection pala yun clothing company..cute ng mga dress nila, hindi ko lang afford bumili ng pang daily use! Hahahaa...) Lagi ngang paalala ng aking journalism adviser nun high school yun quote na, "our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising each time we fall."

Bangon lang nang bangon, aba kapag sumuko ka eh paano na lang ang misyon mo sa buhay? Hahayaan mo ba na maging ganun na lang, sa isa't-isa ay mayroon pagdaramdaaam...bakit 'di pagbigyang muli ang ating pagmamahalan? Ooopss, teka OPM lyrics pala 'yun! Ibig kong sabihin, hahayaan mo ba na mauwi sa wala ang mga pinaghirapan mo at hindi na matupad ang misyon mo sa buhay? At 'wag mo akong hiritan na naniniwala ka sa kasabihang "ang tao ay nabubuhay para kumain" -- utang na loob, 'wag ganun!

Bakit ko ba sinusulat ito? Feeling ko lang may nangangailangan ng aking piece of mind sa mga panahong ito. Hindi ako feelingera, may feelings lang ako at sensitive ako sa ibang tao --- hindi lang halata! :-)

Choices

We all have free will, that is certain. But I believe that beyond having the right to choose, we also have the right to know and understand the pros and cons of available options. If you have the authority or moral ascendancy over someone else, you explain the situation from the macro view, but in the end you have to leave the decision to the person. The role of the duty bearer is to present available options and where needed, make more options available; the choice is still for people to make but they ought to take responsibility for those choices.